Idiocracy
You would get sued by FOX ‘News’ for copying their daily programming.
You couldn’t make Titanic today because it wouldn’t be believable… Leonardo Decaprio dating a woman his own age? Preposterous!
You couldn’t make Citizen Kane because flashbacks and other innovative filming techniques are now the norm.
Daybreakers.
First, it’s a mid-budget movie, and Hollywood doesn’t make much of those nowadays.
Secondly, it commits to a wild premise: vampires become the dominant life form in the world. It’s fun, but the actors play it straight. If the tried to do that now, it’d be full of quips and winking at the audience rather than committing to the bit.
Hackers: because no one rollerblades anymore.
You cannot make the Minecraft movie nowadays… you simply cannot, Warner Bros.
To that bottom comment in the picture. You’d be amazed at how incompetent the TSA and other security staff can be at most airports.
I don’t know if this is still accurate, but the TSA failed their surprise tests over 90% of the time.
They didn’t stop the shoe bomber or the underwear bomber either. There’s a term for what they are, “security theater”. They make it look like they’re doing something to protect you, when really all their doing is stealing whatever they can get away with stealing and fingering people’s buttholes as often as possible.
Collateral with Jamie Foxx and Tom Cruise because instead of hiring a taxi for the whole night it be easier to call a fresh Uber after each kill.
Arrival with Amy Adams because people would insist on using AI to translate the alien language.
Blow with Johnny Depp because of fentanyl ruining the ability to just snort a line of whatever whenever.
Dude, Where’s My Car? Ashton Kutcher pulls out his key fob and presses the button, the car beeps and they find it immediately.
Stuart Little - mice can’t talk anymore
You couldn’t make Cool Runnings today because the Jamaican bobsled team has been around for a few decades.
Really any movie that involves legacy telephones.
- Phone Booth: The whole movie
- Scream: “The call is coming from inside the house”
- The Matrix: “Pick up the phone!”
- Etc, etc.
You can’t make “The Princess Bride” nowadays because optimism and feel good emotions aren’t things that we’re allowed to have anymore.
You couldn’t make Home Alone 2 today because the creators would sue you for copyright infringement.
Scully and Mulder often had to clarify “they were in an area that did not get great cellphone coverage” thirty years ago, they were always getting separated in urban settings
