Same way we decide which animals to eat and which to pet I guess
No no no. I would eat a cow. But I would also pet a cow.
I guess it depends if it’s alive or dead.
Pet the bovine cadaver coward.
Mmm, beef patty.
Living cow: i pets moo cow
Freshly dead cow: no pets 4 u cow
A living cow: pet pet -
With my axe!
Then dead cow: yummy looking beef steak.
oh hey a cute living cow pat pat
dissociates
oh hey a yummy looking dead cow
They were all alive at some point
Pet/food decisions are mostly based on carnivore/herbivore type. Eating carnivorous animals poisons us over time, among other issues. Video about it: Why Predator Meat is Literally Poison (It’s Not What You Think)
How on Earth is it poison…
Bioaccumulation of mercury, lead, etc., or too many vitamins: the more organisms in total eaten on the way to the one you eat. Herbivores have significantly fewer. A few bites of polar bear liver will send you into acute vitamin A overdose with permanent effects, if not death. Another one: Why Don’t We Eat Carnivores?
Ah, natures way of creating teams in a deathmatch?
First one, then the other! The order is important…
Just depends on how hungry you are.
Yes, most of the toxins were discovered and recorded by people who observed the desperate, effectively.
If it sings with you then it’s a friend, if it doesn’t then it’s food.
There are no animals I wouldn’t eat or pet
What about a scorpion?
They’re really unpleasant to eat - much like a tarantula they’re basically all exoskeleton and that makes them a bit like chewing a big mouth full of fried peanut shells. But flavor-wise the meat is actually pretty tasty!
human?
It’s 2026, doesn’t everyone eat ass?
I’d pet them if they aren’t angry but I can’t say I’ve thought of eating donkeys. Necessity of survival, perhaps?
👆
^ my joke but better
Maybe the ones she uses as bra are her very best friends?
Mermaids are the apex predator & rule the seas - none of the critters are friends, just captive slaves that try their best not to piss her off.
And that’s why a little murmaider is ok.
\m/
Wow you had so many of these ready to go 👀
Seems like, somehow, people have spent a lot of time thinking about Ariel’s tits. Perhaps science can tell us one day why.
Buncha hebephiles apparently, because Ariel is forever 16.
A bra can be a friend.
Breast friends, even
Havin’ so much fun together. You’re not even aware you’re such a funny pair.
The closest of friends.
Those claims ain’t surviving their adductor muscles being severed
Clearly her bra are her closest friends.
bra friends are the breast friends.
Meanwhile, I just want to see bunny Armok.
Well starfish have their mouth in the middle of their body, so…
How else do you think they stay on?
Totally. She picks the best kissers.
breast kissers
All right boys, party’s over
…that’s why she uses clam shells.
Simples, when she out grows her B-shells, she wears her C-shells.
She is like a hermit crab, using only the discarded shells as her cycle progresses.
How do we?
I’m assuming the same way we decide which animals are okay to eat or not - arbitrarily and by culture. For example, maybe some Pacific tribes of mermaids might be fine using starfish, but Atlantis area that would be considered barbaric, perhaps even with a touch of propaganda saying they use starfish for sexual reasons as well. I love where this is going, I’m gonna go write a controversial AO3 fiction about a Pacific mermaid fighting against Atlantic racism, but secretly in a degrading race-play relationship.
This is Indian Oceanic Mertribe erasure!
Ok, now tell me how do I decide which animals to suck my nipples?
¿Por que no los dos?
I would imagine that the ones cupping her titties are “more than just friends”.
Alive: friends. Dead: clothes.
Well, obviously her bosom buddies are her friends! They just clam and do their job.
Edit: when you think about it though, do you really want a couple of clams in charge of guarding your titties?
The person who wrote this is in the very small minority of people (of all genders) who don’t think boobs are awesome.
And even then, how is being her bra not being a friend? Bad bras that cause all sorts of issues and discomfort is such a common thing that any bra that doesn’t should automatically be seen as a friend.
