I worked way too hard turning this post legible.
Most of the state name changes are brilliant, but some are either weak or jokes I didn’t get (“Mime SODA”?), or maybe I just misread the whiteboard chicken-scratch. Regardless, suggestions for alternatives encouraged; I’ll post an updated version if there’s interest.
Alt text:
spoiler
A map of the United States of America, with the state names changed out:
Washington - Obama
Oregon - Whoregon
California - Caliphornia
Idaho - Weedaho
Nevada - Old New Vegas
Montana - Mount-a-man-a
Wyoming - Yaoiming
Utah - Putah
Arizona - Gayrizona
Colorado - BIPOColor-ado
New Mexico - New Sexico
North Dakota - Top Dickota
South Dakota - Bottom Dickota
Nebraska - Neosbraska
Kansas - Transas
Oklahoma - Wokelahoma
Texas - New California Republic
Minnesota - Mimesoda (Minnesoda?)
Iowa - Biowa
Missouri - Missyuri
Arkansas - Arktransas
Louisiana - Lesbiana
Wisconsin - Wiscumsin
Illinois - Polynois
Michigan - Michicano
Indiana - Libdiana
Kentucky - Demfucky
Tennessee - Themussy
Mississippi - Mxissippi
Alabama - Alabortion
Ohio - Omegahio
West Virginia - Estroginia
Maine - Ukraine
Vermont - Hermont
New Hampshire - New Tofushire
Massachusetts - Maskachusetts
Connecticut - Connecticunt
Rhode Island - Rode v. Wade Island
New York - Mamdanistan
New Jersey - Nude Jersey
Maryland - Gay Marryland
Delaware - Delawoke
Washington DC - Doll City
Virginia - Vagina
North Carolina - Nonbinary Arolina
South Carolina - Sapphic Arolina
Georgia - Orgya
Florida - Fursona
Alaska - Allahska
Hawaii - Hawahe/him
Also labeled:
USA (United Socialist Allahism)
Gulf of Mexico - Gulf of Gay Sexico
If you really want to rile up from West Virginia, call it Left Virginia. I do.
Oh also the new California Republic is actually where California used to be. I think Caesar’s Legion is actually in Texas.
Everybody fears Omegahio. Think Ohio, but 20,000x worse. There is no hope. There is no escape. It is already too late.
You’d have a hard time convincing me to support most of these (because that is how humor works), but lemme tell you I would wholeheartedly and enthusiastically support an entirely serious campaign to rename Washington to Obama. It would make talking about where I’m from like 84% less confusing.
I feel ya; the constant “Washington STATE” is a real drag.
Just wait till you see Obama’s women!
This would be better than the current nickname “Husky Women” we have for UDub women’s sports.
I love that I now live in the New California Republic, but I’m really tempted to spend some time exploring Whoregon
As a resident of Missyuri, I welcome this change wholeheartedly.
I greatly appreciate the work you put into this. The original was barely legible.
Thank you! Despite its genuinely funny content the original post didn’t get a lot of traction, so I wanted to give it a little polish in hopes that more people would get a chance to enjoy it.
How to make Oregon and New Mexico the top tourism destination states 😄
Obama… Then I saw Alabortion. Perfect. 👌
Whoregon is a genius way to get east coasters to pronounce the name properly XD
I’m thinking “YoreGunsAGone” mighta worked too.
Oh yeah, the red flag state!
Is it Or-e-gun? Or-a-gone?
Or-eh-gun, don’t stretch out the e.
It’s actually pronounced like “organ” (two syllables)
The former!
Well, the Republicans are big fans of renaming shit. Might as well get used to it.
Estrogenia! Mountain mama! Take me home, country roads!
pegsylvania lol
I don’t get neosbraska
Neopronouns, I’d take it.
maybe no-bra-ska?
Vagina got me 🤣
Virginia is for lovers, after all.
It’s very.,. Sex-positive. I guess we are just way sexier than the gop. Which makes perfect sense.
My guess for Mime SODA is that they refer to it as “pop”. 🤷♂️
Edit: Richard Dean Anderson is from Minnesota and was a mime.
~But let’s talk about Nude Jersey. 🤔~
I believe it has to do with the Joe Biden SODA!!! Meme.
On the original picture I think it was written as Minne-SODA not Mime SODA.
one of my favorite shirts in the 1980s was one that had “Minne-soda” written in coca-cola’s logo style and font
I couldn’t find a pic of RDA as a mime, so this will have to do:
I believe in the original they just wrote the n’s too close together. Keming strikes again.
I propose Minnesota’s new name be Daycare State (wellfare state + the daycare debacle)
