Turn you into The Captain
Fun fact this actually comes from an old tradition where a pineapple was a symbol of hospitality, and when the pineapple disappeared the hospitality was gone, the party was over and you needed to leave.
So literally a DJ fruit.
The pineapple absorbs 1 health from all creatures within 10 yards, per hour.
"Has that pineapple been growing this whole time?"
I’m imagining the pineapple humming at about 30hz and pulsating, just at the fringe of human perception.
While looking at the pineapple, any food you eat tastes like your favourite food.
Extra weird for people who favor pineapple and are eating pineapple (not the pineapple, obviously. I did read the post).
“Oh my gosh! My pineapple tastes just like my grandmother’s baklava! I thought I’d never taste it again!”
“Mine taste like my Nonna’s lasagna!”
“Pirozhki. I’ve got tears.”
“How about you, Greg?”
“Hmm? Oh, yeah, it’s really good pineapple, my favorite. I used to spend summers working with my grandfather on the pineapple plantation. This is, um, nice.”
Everyone who attends a party with a rented pineapple later remembers it as a classy affair. However, you lose the deposit on your rental
Everyone who attends the dinner party is guaranteed to get laid that same night.
There’s a monkey’s-paw-style story in there somewhere about dramatic, ironic consequences, but I don’t know that I want to bring it into the world by writing it.
Funny, considering swingers have adopted the pineapple as their symbol.
Making a comment related to the pineapple or related tabledressing is guaranteed to lead to an interesting conversation for all parties involved, which is based on a factual, truthful event.
Hmmm, seems like under the right circumstances, it could be a pineapple of truth. Take it to the White House Correspondents’ dinner and bring up the Epstein Files.
The longer you look at the pineapple, the more your food tastes like pineapples. There comes a point when your food is too sweet, too acidic, but you can’t stop looking at the beautiful pineapple.
Alternatively, it makes everyone’s piss a deep yellow. Saturated and not healthy at all. Weeing is painful and feels like a pineapple getting squirted out of whatever hole you wee out of. Everybody avoids drinking water and only eat dried food, and they all die from dehydration within 3 days.
SCP?
It starts levitating, then explodes.
These pineapples kinda do that, but admittedly, the levitation is pretty brief.
+20 appetite
Lots of videos out there on this specific thing for some reason. Maybe Tablescaping is more popular than I thought?
Everyone within 20 feet is influenced to interpret comments by the other participants in either a) the most positive or b) the most negative possible way, dealer’s choice.
Radical chaos pineapple. I love it. Would be great for a short film or a ship-in-a-bottle episode. I want to see a scene in which an antagonist is being really verbally abusive, but the other person hears it as being supportive. The target of the abuse kindly returns the supportive rhetoric effusively, but the abusive person can only hear the most psychologically damaging scolding they’ve ever gotten.
It is the snack that eats back. You could take it further and say it’s a mimic.
Assuming we would still be in this universe we call reality, any, really. Anything magical would be interested.
This is a really interesting question. I hope you crosspost it elsewhere so it gets the coverage it deserves.
