It’s so obviously designed primarily to get you to spend money on it, not to help you meet people. Some people have liked me, but despite daily swiping, I have no matches. It’s clearly hiding them to get me to pay. On top of that, I had to verify my profile several times as well because I kept getting locked out of my account. It also deleted my bio because it thought I was sharing a social media handle (because how dare you chat to somebody outside of Tinder).
And before anyone calls me a fool for continuing to use it, I’m deleting my account right now lol.
When it comes to dating, nothing tops just going out and meeting people face to face without predatory apps acting as a “middleman”.
I can recall one of the last times I used tinder and caved to their “pay me” prompts, those likes I got but couldn’t match on, completely disappeared once payment went through. They were plain, outright lies by the app to convince me to pay to see them.
I’m sorry that sucks. Enshitification for sure. 10 years ago it was a good app. Met my wife on there. Lot of my friends met their partners there. Luckily there are so many good apps these days that you don’t even need to worry about missing out on someone because of how shitty the app is now.
I get the feeling sooner or later “dating apps” are gonna block messages mentioning real physical locations because the algorithm/ai concluded that meeting irl has occasionally been connected to people deleting the app, and they can’t allow folks to delete the app.
None of these apps seem to work without google play services. I’m on de-googled lineage os with micro g, but I found Tinder can be used in the browser, so I gave it a try for a few months. Got about 1 match a week, and the majority of those were >1000 miles away.
My hobbies get me out enough. Might meet someone eventually.
Enshittification strikes again. I met my wife on there but that was 10 years ago.
Dog parks work well for meeting people if you have a dog.
I met many friends at the dog park. I also met my partner of nearly 10 years at the dog park.
It doesn’t work well if you don’t have time or money for a dog but if you do it shows how well you can take care of another being and have love in your life.
speak for yourself. i have a dog for 5 years. i only ever meet married people and people over 60+ at the dog park.
there are no young single people at my dog park, besides myself.
hell just walking around, in a major city, only people who are 50+ will ever stop and say hi to my dog. nobody under 40 (my own age) will interact with my dog or me, if anything often they move to the other side of the street to avoid us. but if hte person has grey/white hair they are more than happy to smile and ask to pet my dog.
Might be a local culture thing. Where I used to live, I constantly had people of all ages and genders coming up to me, asking about the dogs, gushing over them, inviting the dogs to the bar, etc.
The funny thing about the culture in Germany, is I don’t live in Germany.
So it doesn’t matter to my life. What matters is the culture where I live, in my city.
Yeah, old people had to socialize before the internet long enough to cement social skills so they’re the only people capable of human interaction, as a demographic, whereas younger people act like deer in the headlights if you try to have a friendly conversation with them and they don’t already know you.
people i do know in 40 also can’t hold a conversation for more than like 5 minutes without taking out their phone.
and then complain they don’t have ‘deep conversations’. yeah well… you actively do everything you can to prevent that… that’s how it goes.
Y’all have dog parks? /s
Tap for spoiler
There actually is one in my town now, i think.
Kash Patel? Is that you?
No, he is a dog fucker, not a fucker of dog owners.
why just if you have a dog. Im unabashedly will approach anyone with a dog and look to pet their dog. I mean I have a dog but she is over the top playful so when walking alone I have to take advantage and pet the doggies.
It is probably like you say, but for all it’s worth, when I went to a business trip to South Korea 5 years ago I installed the app because I thought my work colleague will probably constantly hook up with girls and I will be the third wheel. I thought I could try out tinder because it also was the only international dating app I knew, and for some reason I even decided to pay, because the trip was only for 3 months and that would be a limited trail for me and I would stop it when I’d be back.
Turns out I very quickly matched with a local woman and the other guy ended up being the third wheel. Today we’re married and have two children.
I’m not trying to make advertisement for this specific company, just for sometimes doing something out of your character to shake things up if what you’ve been doing for a long time doesn’t seem to work.
Me too: Wife and two children, meet wife on Tinder 11 years ago.
It was a lot different 11 years ago btw
I hear that from people. I think it worked as I expected back then. Went on dates that often went a little further than normal dates, and if you were looking for a relationship, you might get lucky.
I’m surprised nobody has made a non-shitty version just for the love of the game. It can’t be that difficult. It would be objectively better if there were no algorithm whatsoever, so you don’t have to even do that part.
Easy to make an app, hard to get the network effect.
That’s what Alovoa is supposed to be I think. It’s completely free. Never tried it, but I assume it suffers from lack of users like all similar software.
FOSS and encrypted too, nice. I’ll recommend it to people if they ask. Luckily I’m married now though.
alovoa is dead afaict, and duolicious has a nazi problem.
e: as an example of duolicious’ nazi problem,
is the last profile pic i browsed before promptly deleting my account. take a careful look.not incidentally, i later found the app was advertising to 4channers, which also helped explain the surprising number of self-described ‘femcels.’
Haha I knew it. Sucks that we live in a world where the big predatory apps have loads of users but the actual good ones have none.
Never heard of duolicious but I’ll be sure to steer clear.
I’m so glad I have never had to make a tinder account and deal with this BS. I’ve been with my now wife since before it launched. The whole experience seems miserable.
Give Grindr a try.
Grindr is over, it’s all about UberMeats
This is what my husband has, don’t worry tho he promises he’s not cheating on me
I wonder how it’s changed? I was lucky to meet my partner there 9 years ago.
And I met my partner there about 5 years ago. Might depend a bit on your age range and expectations. We were both in our late 40s at the time.
it’s a lot different if you’re attractive.
i get regular matches on most every dating app. and i have never paid for it. last time I turned off my Hinge I had over 100+ matches over about 9 months.\
that said, i only went on about 6 in person dates, because the vast majority of women who are interested in me are not compatible with me and i’m not looking for casual relationships.
it’s a lot different if you’re attractive.
I had over 100+ matches
Found the best looking person on Lemmy.
I’m not best looking, I’m just decent looking.
I just don’t have shitty photos and I have an actual personality in my text.
I just don’t have shitty photos and I have an actual personality in my text.
I don’t know what you look like or how your personality is, but as a woman who’s used dating apps many times before, I can confirm that this alone puts you ahead of the game.
When I see a guy’s profile and it says nothing but “ask me,” it’s an instant skip. Your profile is the space to advertise yourself; if a person’s not going to put in the one-time effort to fill in a profile, how can I expect them to put in the sustained effort necessary for an on-going relationship?
Sure sure Mr Ryan Reynolds, I believe you.
if I was that attractive i’d be getting 100s of matches per month.
I get like 5 a week.
but I’m sure if you were on it for 9 months and got 0 matches… you’d think it wasn’t possible to get any.
I know guys more attractive than me, who get way more matches than me. it’s all about how physically and emotionally appealing you are. it’s just that… most men are not either. and if you start telling them why, they lose their minds because they take pride in their unappealing characteristics, like their passion for Linux.
It’s akin to finding a job. But even more harsh on your self image.
I never got to try any of these dating apps. I have been so curious about them. But I’ve been married longer than androids have been around so I’ll never know what it’s like.
I was married for 20 years and then separated. While the divorce was going through, I got on the apps. It’s kind of addictive to swipe through the people, read the bios and decide on whom to approach. Then when you get a match, it’s a buzz (someone finds me interesting!) and you get chatting, which can be fun, flirty, or just ordinarily pleasant. When you get to meet someone, it can be anything from instantly clicking with them through to finding them deathly boring. For women, this spectrum goes deeper into “is this safe?” territory.
For me, there was a period where a long-distance relationship that started from Tinder was opened up (mutually) and I thought that polyamory was an option for me. I had a lot of matches that I had to ask whether they’d read my profile carefully, and then decided that wasn’t for them, but I had more new sexual experiences than ever before in my life, and that was exciting - I learned a lot about myself, including that I really want domesticity.
Then I found myself drifting into a new committed relationship and got off the apps, and life returned to normal, which for me was a relief - I really don’t miss the excitement, because dating is a major time and energy suck, and I’d rather put that energy into one person. And the new relationship (almost 5 years now) is the best I’ve ever had. Low conflict, high trust, lots and lots of love.
I tried 2 hippy dating sites and there were Zero hippy women in either. One even said if you fish, don’t bother contacting her.
