Middle aged guy. Taking zero drugs that would affect sexual performance either negatively or positively. Long time girlfriend who likes sex and can cum PIV. Recently the start is the same where my girlfriend spends a few minutes getting my cock good and hard. I enter and everything is fine. We are both having fun. Then for no reason I start to get floppy. And other times when I stay hard I just can never reach the edge to actually cum. We have also tried hand jobs and oral and the same things happen. Any advice?
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No one has mentioned porn.
A good tip is stop watching porn and stop jacking off. This also helps your sex drive.
I’m usually pro porn , pro masturbation, but this is the one time that it might be helpful , since you stay horny/pent up to actually perform more to the way you want to during sex.
Just don’t take it too far.
Oh I’m 100% in the “love yourself” camp, but if you have performance issues in the bedroom go on a break.
Cut out most porn and no solo climaxing.
My issue with porn is that it’s very much acting. Most real couples don’t fuck like that. Those positions and angles can hurt your partner or yourself. Even the viewing angles. If you’re used to seeing a close up banging its hard to get that visual with real sex.
If anyone reading this thread has performance issues I’d recommend trying a “No Solo Nut” month. Only nut with your partner and then go back to self care as needed.
Men tend to Jack it as a dopamine release. Not only when they’re horny. It’s also linked to depression.
That said. If you’re horny and want to release some demons then power to you. Buy a sleeve or torso even. We shouldn’t shame men for getting toys when dildos are openly accepted.
Physical health. Pick up running or biking. A lot of erection issues are related to the cardiovascular system.
Talk to a doctor. Could be a sign of something more serious.
Age bears consequences. Ask a doctor.
I’m 56 and sometimes have similar problems. Most of my problems, but not all, are in my head. Once you have one disappointment it’s impossible not to think it will happen again this time. ED drugs can help you push past this but the ultimate solution seems to me to be getting out of my head and restoring confidence.
I’m in the same boat. I’m 53 and this has been going on for about 2 years now. I’m getting some blood work done shortly and a follow up in April though the last time I was tested I was still considered normal so they wouldn’t recommend HRT. I agree I should seriously exercise more and I’m willing to bet it would help more than anything else. Finding time and motivation is seriously difficult anymore. My wife and I have been talking about going together to motivate each other. Again though, like Nike, we need to just do it and quit talking about it.
Yep gym routine (eg Starting Strength with some machines and 10-20 mi a week) is a good start.
I find a cock ring really helps and Cialis goes a long way, It doesn’t fix the being able to finish part of it but it solves her problem
Get some blood work done and check your testosterone and E2 levels. You can get blood work done privately in most countries. And it’ll cost you a couple hundred.
if Test < 400 Ng/dl you may want to dig deeper / look at TRT.
If you are using gear, which you’re not, E2 levels are worth looking at too, If they’re too high or too low, cumming is really hard.
On the balance of probabilities it’s going to be a fitness issue or hormones.
Is she getting off? I think it’s normal, this happens to my guy (we are your age - ETA: we are both in good shape, and you look like you are too, I don’t think it’s a health thing). If YOU are ok with it and she is getting off, it’s not a problem, you can consider it edging and fuck again later, that’s what we do. Evening is for me, morning for him.
Also - he does sometimes take half a Cialis, if she likes PIV consider it - so hard he feels bigger inside me, it’s great.
The only time it’s a drag is when he really wants to cum at night, it does seem to take forever (though I do get to cum kind of a lot when this happens, I get so exhausted).
So I guess my suggestion, since you sleep together, is just go to sleep when she’s done and take advantage of the morning when you have a better chance of getting off, let that be for you.