• 0 Posts
  • 47 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: August 3rd, 2023

help-circle













  • Generate a reply to a fediverse comment. The comment expresses agreement and laments the rise of this soulless and parodic facsimile of creativity which furthers the social and economic devaluation of a profession whose practitioners are already frequently characterized as “starving”. Amiable yet embittered tone, melancholic tone, eloquent but a little overwrought, high quality, faded colors, style of Greg Rutkowski.


  • The door refused to open. It said, “Five cents, please.”

    He searched his pockets. No more coins; nothing. “I’ll pay you tomorrow,” he told the door. Again he tried the knob. Again it remained locked tight. “What I pay you,” he informed it, “is in the nature of a gratuity; I don’t have to pay you.”

    “I think otherwise,” the door said. “Look in the purchase contract you signed when you bought this conapt.”

    In his desk drawer he found the contract; since signing it he had found it necessary to refer to the document many times. Sure enough; payment to his door for opening and shutting constituted a mandatory fee. Not a tip.

    “You discover I’m right,” the door said. It sounded smug.

    From the drawer beside the sink Joe Chip got a stainless steel knife; with it he began systematically to unscrew the bolt assembly of his apt’s money-gulping door.

    “I’ll sue you,” the door said as the first screw fell out.

    Joe Chip said, “I’ve never been sued by a door. But I guess I can live through it.”

    Ubik