Right? IMO it’s rude to just call someone out of the blue and expect that they’ll be able to drop everything to chat with you.

Unfortunately, my mom loves to call unannounced, and because my parents are getting older I feel the need to answer in case something’s wrong.

Hey Melania, go fuck yourself, you vile fucking dipshit.

When I was a young idiot, I really thought Clonaid was gonna be a thing. I guess I thought it was plausible because I grew up reading a fuckton of scifi and Dolly the Sheep had been born a couple years prior. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I’m so sorry for your loss :'(

Silly sighthound 🤎

Please don’t put words in my mouth.

Low-FODMAP turkey & sweet potato chili.

Hey Brin, kindly go fuck yourself, you out-of-tpuch ass.

I thought it was Dead Aunt Sally?

FUCK THIS GUY SO HARD. I swear to god this lunatic needs to be stopped.

Yup! I live in Pennsylvania & I see loads of them every summer.

Disrespectful to Flounder, to be honest

This is so cute

🎶 Anon is so lonely 🎶
🎶 He’s Mr. Lonely 🎶
🎶 Wishes he had someone 🎶
🎶 To call on the phooooone 🎶

His assistant needs to lose tirty pound in one munt.

Goodbye to Rosie, the queen of Corona

I love this

The jetpack

I love this haha

What the fuck is this shit. I’m so tired and we’re barely a month into this shitshow administration.