Constantine

I dislike fake outrage that pokes fingers at innocent turns of phrases.

Yes. I know, un-be-lievable.

My mom never thinks about reality in any self-aware context and legitimately believes she has a hard-line directly to Stevie Nicks and megachurch preachers.

I quit trying.

Anime

Microsoft Works

Dorsey: lmao, for you.

The closer you are to the blast, the better. This ensures a quick and painless death. If your’e really frightened of nuclear weapons, rest easy in a flat in a major city. You won’t have to suffer any of the scary mutations or side effects of rural folk.

Source for your study?

I can’t see it

“turn the light on”

<_<

Mogwai

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLk-2My4wNs

And King Gizzard

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7t2FL1SRaE

annoyi-

Starting your next sentence even if you know the other person hasn’t finished thier last word yet.

if

*After

God: “lol, it was just me, but like, not me.”

Holy Spirit: “Me too. The same guy but also, not the same guy.”

My mom’s favorite pastor is dead, but I’ll still tell her about this.

She believes in a magic sky god who set his own rules up for us to fail by way of damnation. A pastor coming back to life wouldn’t be a jump in her reality.

Would you click if she was?

Grow a spine? They’re entirely complicit. Democracy theater at its best.

Never ask out someone while they are on the job.

1000%

Follow her home first.

Lib vs Left vs Tankie

Mother Nature: cracks knuckles “lemme in, coach”

Start by making some content for the systems you already fucking have. My ps5 gets closer to facebook marketplace every day.