Did they really need research to realise that?

Don’t encourage her fandom.

Ten year old me is desperate to use the label maker I got for Christmas.

Nah, it’s like when the cat asks to be let out and they go out, then immediately sit outside the window staring glumly in at you.

Things have to get much worse before MAGA utopia can be reached where prices and taxes are low, the streets are clean and you only ever see white faces. Like, way worse.

We just take whatever the cat shelter has left.

True, as in most of them manage to show a background and loading spinner before sitting around doing fuck all for 30s. 5s used to be considered way too slow by the way.

They’re going to snatch the Pope next for being woke.

Paging Billy Bragg.

I was trying to be more positive this year, but that’s the worst plural I’ve ever seen.

The druids designed Stonehenge in inches, but there was a mix-up and the contractor delivered the stones measured in feet.

Do you think they Mirandized him?

Yes. I use irony and strategically disarming frankness to avoid talking about my feelings.

You can brain anyone with a rock.

Has this console generation even started yet?

Are media zombies the people in the White House press room who never question anything?

Not like that!

It’s true. When people talk about gamification they’re actually talking about systems that were added to games to make them feel more like a job - e.g. Collect 100 badges, log on every day, use the shop.

Conversation very obviously staged for Internet points, but actually they spent all their money on the receipt for an Internet money picture.

Where do all these confidently wrong people come from?