Will it reach the admins there if I’m on a different instance? I’m not exactly sure how reports federate but I heard admins on other servers can’t see them, or won’t always see them.

I will definitely report it more often when I see it.

Agreed, this is a really bad take. I feel like this person is one of those people spreading thinly veiled transphobia and dogwhistles. That’s what that is, claiming we are self-centered, too sensitive, slowflakes, triggered, etc. That’s what they say to try and deny the legitimacy of our struggle, and the fact that in the end what we want is basic respect and recognition, they don’t even want to do that.

You are extremely self centered in how you see the world. There are as many people in the world and in the fediverse that would say kick you out because you don’t have their best interests at heart.

Wanting basic respect to not have my existence and rights debated or denied is not self-centered, kindly go fuck off if you think it is. If me being transgender and wanting basic respect, and not having my existence and identity denied doesn’t “have their best interests at heart” they can fuck off, because they are nazis and bigots who don’t have my or my minority brethren’s best interests at heart. This isn’t asking for special treatment, this is asking to not have my existence and identity denied. Something that cishet people take for granted.

Folks this is an example of one of these dogwhistles I pointed out, trying to claim that wanting basic respect as a person and the way I identify is somehow self-centered. Fact is LGBTQ people just want to exist without prejudice or having their existence and validity debated, that isn’t an unreasonable ask and yet there are people who will screetch and whine when simply being asked to show respect, not even told, asked.

Sure I can provide some examples:

I just wish they wouldn’t force their gender and pronouns onto other people

Translation: Doesn’t believe trans people are valid and doesn’t think people should respect our preferred pronouns

I just think that they need to keep it to themselves and leave kids out of it

Translation: Doesn’t believe we should exist in public, that we are a threat to children by virtue of being transgender.

It’s important to protect women’s spaces

Translation: Trans women shouldn’t be allowed to use the same spaces cis women use

There’s also more subtle ones such as people referring to cis women as real women, or referring to the transgender movement as gender ideology. The first one is wrong because trans women are real women, and the second one is wrong because transgender isn’t a religion or organization like a church. They are calling it an ideology so they can pretend there is an institution to fight against, in reality transgender people just exist and want to live our lives.

I know, I’m subscribed to many of their communities already, they are some of the nicest people I’ve met on the fediverse. If I was going to recommend my friends join Lemmy I would recommend they join lemmy.blahaj.zone. However even though there are good instances which are safe spaces it doesn’t detract from the problem, since they will still use the federated general communities and thus will still encounter those problems. Even if they’re on the friendly insances, the problem gets federated.

That’s why it is important to address transphobia in the fediverse as a whole, having safe spaces help but we should expect a level of common decency in any community. Not just in the trans-specific communities.

I’m not sure how relevant that is, considering most of the accounts I’ve seen doing this are from lemmy.world, I’ve seen some doing it from .ml but most are from .world.

Most of the people exhibiting the transphobic traits and behaviors I’ve mentioned had @lemmy.world extensions on their account. I saw only a few from lemmy.ml doing it, and essentially no hexbears doing it at all.

Bottom surgery done the correct way >>> penis cut off.

(I wish they’d let me get it 😭, well at least mine is much smaller than it was before I started estrogen)

Well you have to look to a source to buy Estrogen and blockers grey-market, can be hard since it’s… well it’s a grey area. There’s more to it than that but that’s the hard part.

Pirated it (did DIY HRT)

Same, it’s really helpful especially because I’m trans and those type of people can be anything from unpleasant to downright dangerous. I was actually assaulted by one of those right-wing assholes because a little girl bumped into me while I was walking, they then yelled “Groomer!” And ended up punching me really hard in the face and kicked me in the stomach, asshole literally broke my nose.

There’s an obvious difference between someone having a different political belief and a dangerous political belief. Being radical conservative is a dangerous political belief. Forgive me but I don’t want to hang around people who call me slurs or physically threaten me for who I am, or just try to take away my access to live-saving medical care.

Fascism, bigotry, and authoritarianism is not an opinion, in the same way that arsenic isn’t a flavor.

It’s a meme about gender identity using techy terms in different ways to describe how a person realized they were trans (or I guess that they aren’t trans). Basically it’s humor, it’s also a shitpost.

I’ve been trying for years, and while it does sound different than before I know it will probably never pass. Many people have said it does to be nice, and while I appreciate them trying to make me feel better, passing or not passing is a serious problem for me. I did use voice test apps, and sent samples of my “fem voice” to voice training communities without telling them my gender first and they said it sounded masculine. Plus I can’t do the different voice too long before I get tired but if I don’t even pass with it, what’s the point?

It was actually estrogen, but yeah basically.

Yeah, it can be scary. That’s why it’s good to have safe spaces where you can be yourself and talk about these things. I sent you some links to communities that might be helpful, best part is, they’re right here on lemmy.

I really hope at some point you get to a point where you can feel comfortable expressing yourself in ways that match who you are. I’ll admit it does take some hard work, but the rewards are often worth it, they come in the form of self-acceptance and being happy with who you are.

would be a 6’3 trans woman with shoulders like an NFL linebacker, and likely in my mid to late 40s at best.

I know many people who felt that same way and they still pass wonderfully, yes it does take hard work and does take time. But it’s nowhere near as hopeless as it seems.

My family is never going to disown me, mind, I could burn down an orphanage on Christmas Eve and dance in the ashes and my mom would be livid, but that lady would love me and I’d be still welcome at dinner.

I’m glad to hear that your family is accepting. That’s more than I can say for my family. I haven’t talked to them in almost 7 years. They wanted nothing to do with me when I came out as trans, and were especially disgusted by the idea of me being on HRT. It’s nice to hear that your family will still accept you even if you choose to make changes.

I’m never going to feel comfortable in my own skin, so I figure I might as well be uncomfortable and still enjoy the benefits and privilege of cis white guy status. Do I hate my body? Yes. Do I wish I could change in fundamental ways that go far beyond simple weight loss or whatever? God yes. Do I realistically have the resources to make that happen and reach a point where I think I could like my body? No.

I used to feel a very similar way before my egg broke. I thought I could just push it down and live life as a normal cis boy. I couldn’t. The dysphoria eventually becomes unbearable. It can feel overwelming and hard to take the first steps, hard to make the first changes. I recommend taking things slow and starting with little things. Maybe you might not be ready for HRT but maybe try out some little social things that might make you happy, like makeup or nail polish, just something that feels gender affirming to you. You could even do these things in private. Just little things that can be first steps then take it slowly from there.

Oh God. I’ve never actually admitted any of this before, and I’m a little scared shitless right now. I seriously may delete this.

It’s okay if you want to talk to me about it more privately I can do it in DMs . If you want to reach out to others in the community here are some good communities that can help:

Discussion:

• !mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
• !trans@lemmy.blahaj.zone
• !nonbinary@lemmy.blahaj.zone
• !asktransgender@lemmy.blahaj.zone

Memes:

• !egg_irl@lemmy.blahaj.zone
• !traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns@lemmy.ca
• !transmemes@lemmy.blahaj.zone
• !196@lemmy.blahaj.zone

If you want to speak in a more private place I’d recommend joining the Blahaj.zone group on Matrix, instructions on how to join that here: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/15256176

Don’t worry, I’m happy to listen to it if it can help out a fellow transfem sister.

I tried and no matter how hard I try my voice doesn’t pass as fem. Some people say it does trying to be nice but when I showed samples to some voice training communities without telling them my gender, just asking if it sounds masc or fem they confirmed my suspicions, voice training apps also confirm my voice is still well within the masc range. It’s tiring to keep trying and if my voice doesn’t pass unless people are being nice I don’t see the point, still makes me feel bad though 😭