I’ve been on a slow but steady decline for the past several years. I don’t move at all, barely leaving my room let alone the house; I’ve taken to eating shit I order out instead of cooking meals myself; I don’t get involved with any local orgs besides sending dues every month; I haven’t read a book in months; I regularly fail to perform bare minimum hygiene. The only reason I’m able to keep alive at all is because I haven’t moved out of my parents’ house, burdening them with helping me. It would be understandable if I was living hand to mouth and had barely any free time, but I am one of the small percent of burgers who isn’t a month away from destitution and I have more than enough free time. Not to mention I receive no shortage of help.

Since I can’t blame my material circumstances, I can only conclude that I am this way because I always refuse to take personal responsibility. I know that changing myself so that I can be, at bare minimum, not a drain on society is going to take a lot of work, work that I always put off due to cowardice. Idealist as it is, I feel like I have some innate metaphysical trait that makes me this way, and the entirety of my failure to pick myself up is due to a moral failing on my part and nothing more.

How do I force myself to unfuck myself so that I can actually be useful for revolution instead of yet another useless first world lotus eater?

  • Maoo [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    You might want to chat with a licensed therapist, if you have the option. If you’re having difficulty with motivation and things don’t make you happy like you feel they used to (plus the other things you said), you might have depression.

    If so, things like exercise and diet can help a lot. But they may not always and talking to a pro can really help.

    • robot_dog_with_gun [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      If so, things like exercise and diet can help a lot.

      fuck yeah people having motivation problems should just do these two difficult high-motivation tasks!

      i did not expect to see this fucking much “your bootstraps” bullshit on goddamn hexbear

      • Maoo [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        Depression runs a wide range of severities, OP was asking for advice, and I also recommended therapy because OP didn’t mention they had gone to it nor did they directly refer to thinking of this as mental health at all. Instead, they were directing negativity at themselves.

        Please remember that there are no one-size-fits-all approaches.

      • JK1348 [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        Look i get what you’re saying but pushing myself to stay active PE-wise honestly helped me mental health game so much, I know it’s a heavy task but to build it from the ground level lays a beautiful foundation for mental health clarity every good socialist needs.