After moving states to a much more progressive one i feel like i get clocked all of the time here, whereas back home that rarely ever happened. When i pass by male strangers they dont do the nod thing to me. its very disconcerting. I get they’d by people who don’t know me. I wish I could know what it was that makes people clock me like that. It feels like I’m not man enough here. Not being stealth feels like being naked. I don’t like it.
Part of me wants to talk about my experiences as a trans man because it is a unique expierence that needs to be known, but at the same time I feel like as soon as I tell people I’m trans I automatically become Man Lite™ and a bunch of assumptions are made about me. And then I’m not man enough and am not treated as any other man would be treated. I wish T would do its magic already. I’m constantly feeling dysphoric these days.
I just wanna say from a man’s perspective, don’t read into it too much. When I’m in public, I damn near put blinders on. A couple weeks ago, I walked straight past a buddy of mine in public and didn’t even see him. He texted me later like, “Dude, we cool?” I had to ask him to elaborate, as I was completely confused.
You’re doing great. Be true to yourself. Don’t worry about strangers; we are becoming increasingly isolated from one another due to various factors, including polarization. You got this, dude.