I don’t hate my parents, but they have spent their whole lives damaging the people around them and continue to do so.

They raised me in a rural community where they didn’t interact with the community or have friends, or a social life. By extension neither did I. I never had any friends that I didn’t have to spend the night visiting. And any social skills I have are learned (badly) from my peers. They didn’t need to raise me in poverty and isolation. They chose to, because they’re both very antisocial people.

My mother uses terms like “negress” and phrases like “I’m so hungry I could eat a scabby headed n####r” like it’s normal, despite not living in the 1780s and makes fun of trans people despite knowing full well that I have trans friends. She lives in a house that is close to ruin and my brother basically sacrificed his freedom to take care of her. She’s spiteful and judgemental to pretty much everyone and I don’t want her influence rubbing off on my children. She’s also trying to rile up my wife at every opportunity, including trying to make her sick with foods she’s allergic to.

My father isn’t any better. He has always been a bit racist (my cousin has an African wife and finds this aspect of his personality challenging), but talking to him these days is like talking straight to GB news. He sees jk Rowling as a champion of free speech and hasn’t realised that trans women aren’t taking hormones so they can rape women in public bathrooms. He has no interest in anyone else. He’s stringing his girlfriend along despite not having feelings for her and his grandchildren have given up trying to compete with the steady stream of Kremlin propaganda coming from his tablet (he’s actually pro Ukraine he just enjoys hating the people the Kremlin wants him to hate).

I’m tired of trying to keep the peace and talk around sensitive topics. I’m tired of having to undo all the hateful shit my parents say to my children. I’m tired of feeling guilty for not taking care of my mother. I’m tired of sacrificing my holidays to put up with them for a week at a time so they can mentally damage my children. Neither of them has more than 10 years left if family history is anything to go by, so I don’t feel like there’s anything to be gained from cutting them off. It’s just tiring.

There’s plenty more I could say about either of them, but I’ve already spent too much energy on this.

Tldr: my parents are shitty people.

    • theareciboincident@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
      0·
      7 months ago

      The reason you may not have received the reception you expected is because your POV comes from a deep well of privilege. Clearly you recognize they are shit people, so why?

      You are making a choice to validate your parents’ beliefs, to expose your own family in their formative stages to those beliefs, and to the detriment of your own friends, for money.

      That’s fine. Nobody’s telling you to give it away. It’s yours by law if they choose to give it to you.

      But to then go and complain about voluntarily eating some poop (so to speak) for financial independence later - to people whose entire lives are defined by how they are treated by people like your parents with nothing at the end but more discrimination, is a bit… liberal.