I got permabanned for saying that the queers were gonna start fighting back.

Dicks were big in the 70s. It was cool to work them into art, or wear them as jewelry.

Mine went missing for a day, and then at 2am a neighbor started pounding on the door - was this our cat wailing keeping them awake?

So I climbed about 30’ up a pine tree in my boxers, in the dark, unwrapped the cat from the tree, wrapped it around my bare chest (it’s terrified fully extended claws made this a snap, right into my flesh) and down we went.

She never tried that again, but did enjoy annual escapes onto the roof until the arthritis got too bad.

You don’t need to leave the kitchen, just need a pi

Went to the mall today and one store, a toy store I think, had a big Israel flag hanging by the entrance - like I get that you have an identity at stake here but none of us want to walk under that particular flag to spend our money right now, and you could see that reflected. And that’s not anti-semitism, it’s just voting with our feet.

Next, it’d be nice to get our tax dollars to do the same thing…

Own your own consulting firm which helps this occur anyway.

But it was pre-Covid the last time I made this work, I finally got in with the idea of steady jobs - they pay you like, $2k every couple weeks just to sit in a little room all day… ok I can doomscroll in a different place for a while if you’re going to pay my bills

We’ve all made ChatGPT create the Celebrity Deathmatch clips

Venn diagram, we need to focus on the “nazi” and “alpha male” circles which are smaller than the “little dick” circle, which is actually - gay dude here - I’ll tell you pretty big.

We know that capitalism is self-correcting so don’t worry, it’ll shake itself out

House is 123 years old, I have a couple of cast-iron pans that are civil war era, still get regular use.

They did put in some safeguards that kept things running fairly insulated for a couple decades.

But anyone could have guessed it wouldn’t be permanent, I am not sure if they were kidding themselves or what. You can’t make a corporation moral.

China to the rescue, a good tug and they peel like a banana now

It would make a lot more sense with robotussin but whoever made this doesn’t really understand what’s in today’s OTC drugs, the Benadryl that was fun isn’t pink like these. Diphenhydramine is just a bad drug they need to recall.

Call forth the therapists and let them do battle for our honor

Unknown lip filler shots in the parking lot of a Church’s Chicken

Is one tradition IDK how today’s kids do it

You’re preprogrammed, through years of evolution you aren’t privy to, to be terrified of things that look human but aren’t, that move in unison. IDK what that says.

Yep there is a point of no return.

I hate to say it, because it’s such a swallow-the-spider, but I hope GP1s are able to help humans overcome food marketing and processed food bullshit. I’m on one myself and it helps me make better decisions because my sugar cravings aren’t leading me around by the nose. As a result I hope to avoid diabetes.

Everything needs to be restarted, from the cybersecurity to the housing programs to Congress to the constitution. Absolutely everything needs to be fixed and started over from scratch.

That’s what you’d expect, but we’ve seen them pretty OK with the erosion for years now. Lately it seems like maybe there’s one collective backbone among the nine of them, but I’m not convinced of anything just yet.

That sounds like an average Tuesday in Texas