I really appreciate you taking the time to add to the shitpost-verse lore by applying logic and detail to this crossover.

Edit: Replied at the wrong level again. Please downvote my shame. I did.

If I remember correctly, lava lamps have a heating element, so there’s a chance this might not be too bad.

Whoa, Black Betty! Blamp-a-lamp!

JAKE: All right, Fiske, Jones, Thompkins- Smith. Smith. Whoa, hey, NYPD, freeze! Slow down! This isn’t fair! I have a cane. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. NYPD. NYPD. I need to commandeer this vehicle.

JESSICA: It’s a crossover. It’s a crossover SUV, and you can’t have it.

JAKE: I’m a cop can you please get out of the car?

JESSICA: No, this Schmidt’s mom’s car, and I’m more scared of her than I am of some two-bit thug.

JAKE: I’m not a thug I’m police.

JESSICA: Okay, then name one law.

JAKE: Don’t kill people.

JESSICA: That’s on me I set the bar too low.

Thanks!

I wonder if the AI bothered to interpret the license plate, map it to a location, and add cultural influences from that region. I kind of doubt it, but I don’t think it’s outside the realm of possibility.

It was AI. I know we generally don’t like that here, but I feel like transparency should be a minimum standard for the use of AI.

Oscar Wilde: “There are only two tragedies…”

His inability to avoid it is his lesser-known vulnerability.

Alliteration artfully amplifies amusement and adds alluring appeal.

The No Kings March in many individual cities outnumbered the crowd at the birthday boy’s battledress burlesque; you’re correct.

Don’t worry. I’m sure the US government will offer the Trump Organization a no-bid contract to fix those roads right up.

So, poorly executed, yes. Honestly, they’re not really great at marching, nor should they be. Outside of ceremonial units like Honor Guard, the US military sucks at marching. It’s not a bad thing. Marching isn’t relevant to combat anymore, so competent militaries don’t invest much in it. Most world leaders know this and don’t lean hard on parades for propaganda if they have an effective military, or if not, they at least spend an absurd amount of resources training soldiers to perform well enough to impress the public. What we’re seeing here is the head of an organization fundamentally ignorant of the goals and methods of a modern military, and also too inexperienced to know how to put on a good show as an alternative. Yes, marching bands get more practice marching and have higher standards for marching than most of the US military. That’s the way it should be. The problem here is that this guy doesn’t know what militaries are for, how to use them, or even how to put on a decent show.

Top one is DPRK, just FYI, but your joke is still funny. Thank you.