Odo, centaurs, and the Grinch just standing in the middle trying to avoid eye contact with each other.

Dan Brown writing men: “He had steely grey eyes and was very smart. Scientists thought he was an idiot but that’s because he was smarter than them and didn’t spend as much time writing papers. He did four hundred pushups and took a shower. ‘Not bad for a fifty five year-old guy’, he thought, which was smarter than other thoughts even if those thoughts had won prizes.”

If the christian god exists and the reward for serving him is eternal life in his presence, I will gladly accept the alternative.

Introducing tech debt.

A bag of locally roasted coffee is $12 and lasts me two weeks. It used to be $9, before the orange shithead but let’s ignore that. A pot of coffee takes about as long as it takes for water to boil. I’m clearly not the target demographic, but still. Nine fucking dollars for a cup?

Let’s go Phillies?

Yeah they really shouldn’t have done the cross section.

Yeah, exactly. I get how the Mandela effect works psychologically, I just don’t love that a lot of them end with “corporation says no.”

Maybe instead of freaking out about the Mandela Effect, we should be freaking out with our willingness to just believe corporations at their word. Because that’s who seems to have the final word in all of these things, especially in situations where you can’t go back and check original artifacts. I’m guessing there’s still some old Berenstain Bears books at garage sales and vintage Pikachu merch is everywhere, but who’s holding onto 40 year-old underwear or peanut butter jars?

Here’s a recent example: Dairy Queen introduced a new Blizzard about ten years ago. It started with a solid chocolate core with ice cream around it. They called it the Fudge Tunnel Blizzard. It was there, on the drivethrough sign, and my friends and I had a field day with it. The branding lasted for a few weeks and then it completely disappeared.

I can’t find branding anywhere on the internet. I know it was there, my friends saw it was there. Nobody took a picture and it vanished. I can’t find it on google. It’s gone. Well, there’s some mention of them adding a “tunnel of fudge” to the Royal Blizzard in 2017, but there’s zero surviving marketing material for the original concept which definitely did not have a golden spoon. I know this because I ordered it. Repeatedly. To make the people behind the intercom say it back to me.

It makes sense that they’d want to scrub everything that ever mentioned eating a Fudge Tunnel at Dairy Queen. For the other stuff… who knows? Marketing departments churn, stuff gets lost, short-run logos get left out of the brand evolution. Yeah, some of this is Mandela effect but can we stop treating corporations as the ultimate authority?

Either that or it really has to go to the bathroom now.

“Look at that fucking river out there. Thinks its so cool. Just moving pop cans and fish shit past the window. Stupid fucking river.”

I was at the second to last Sasquatch and spent a lot of the time ranting about the people that thought a festival was an ideal place to sell someone a Toyota.

Reading Shakespeare is torture. That is why we make actors do it for us.

I’ve gambled twice in my life. The first time was sitting in a gas station casino because my buddy’s car overheated on the pass. Put $20 into a keno machine, lost about half of it, realized I could have gotten several beers instead. Got annoyed with myself and cashed out.

The second time was in Vegas. Same buddy gave me a massive hit on a vape pen and dragged me over to a blackjack table. He dumped some chips in front of me things happened, the table was a lot of fun to look at, the dealer cleared her throat in a really annoyed way because I was grooving on the pattern on the back of the cards instead of playing. I handed the chips back to my buddy and told the entire casino I was too high for this shit.

I guess I don’t have the gene. I’ve got an addictive personality in general and that’s been fun to deal with, but I’m glad it doesn’t extend to gambling.

I can see at least one innovation there. Diodes make current go one direction. D1 ensures current goes neither direction.