Network Effect, by Martha Wells.

Would you mind linking me to the clubs you know online that you mentioned?

Interest!

Yes and no? I’ve been trying to find the words to answer this - minority pov stories is definitely one big part of what I’m talking about, but maybe not the only thing I mean? I guess I want to read more books that challenge the kinds of awful laws like the one in Louisiana, and the thinking behind them. And, I want to do it online in a group, lol, so I can meet people and learn things I didn’t know.

Good point. “Banned” here is really shorthand for “queer and non-white and non-west-centric and non-abled and non-capitalist perspectives”. I’m feeling eaten alive emotionally by the censorship of the american christian right and looking for a constructive way to counter those feelings.

I feel like this article speaks to something that’s been rolling around in my head for a long time. I don’t have polished thoughts about it, but I’m really glad that I read this.

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Yes, I think so. It’s been my experience that when you show a vulnerability or do something that causes people to confront a hidden little part of themselves, people who can’t deal with their repressed emotions around that thing tend to get resentful and sometimes react in really immature ways. Internally, they might think things like “You’re CRYING? But I don’t feel like I get to cry! I never get a chance to show my emotions! Why should YOU?” And then externally, what comes out of their mouth is wild shit like “pull yourself together” or “man up”. This also happens with other modes of self expression but I think in terms of emotion and masculinity it is particularly awful. Women are more likely to have experienced the harmful effects of strict gender roles, and generally want to make sure men feel supported in the face of that, because it (patriarchy) hurts us all.

Women are also often socialized to know how to react and how to help when people get upset, which can lead to some bleakly unfair family situations, but in contrast to men who might not have that skill set or that lifetime of practice with those types of social situations, they’re going to respond very differently. It is absolutely a skill to be able to cope with others’ feelings, and that skill is not taught to children evenly.