I am extremely disappointed that I can’t unread this.

I cackled at the card joke. Thank you for that 😂

See, the internet censors it for you; you don’t need to do it yourself! All I see is sh!t, p!$$, c**t, c0ckscker, m0th3rfuck3r, and tits.

Also, animals are extremely vulnerable when going potty, so I’d expect they assume we are, too; they’re protecting us at our most vulnerable. ☺️

I would argue that, without the punctuation, it’s not technically correct. The references to James and John saying “had had,” at least, should be in quotes. Additionally, unless broken up with a semicolon or a period before the final four “hads,” it’s a run-on sentence.

If you change the “hads” that mean provided/said in the context of the sentence (excluding the quoted ones), you could write it as:

James, while John had [said] “had”, had [said] “had had”; “had had” had [provided] a better effect on the teacher.

And though it doesn’t flow right to me to have James and his action verb split by a phrase about John, I’m not sure that’s incorrect. Phrasing it to fix the flow, for me, would be:

While John had [said] “had”, James had [said] “had had”; “had had” had [provided] a better effect on the teacher.

I tripped on that one and ended up saying “European pianer player union,” which made me laugh until I coughed.

I am not sober. I just had far too much fun saying “europinyinyinyin” out loud over and over again, so thank you for that. :)

I think I have some extended family who probably say it similarly to that, too. Probably the ones from the deep south.

Alternately, do sell it, but make sure it’s guaranteed to fail and become an expensive paperweight upon first use. I’d prefer your option, but I’ll take mine if I can’t get yours.

Oh please let it be a Futurama-style firing

I volunteer Mike Johnson as tribute.

Ugh, stupid webpage kept prompting me to pay despite telling me it was a free article shared by subscribers.

Archive

Exactly what my mind was doing! 😂

Mmmm, corb

I’m curious what context you think the rest of the message chain provides.

I don’t know if I’d call Trump’s dick a stake. Toothpick?

Also, toys. You can choose what size you prefer. This works in both same and different sex partnerships. Toys (in conjunction with an observant partner) are awesome. I’ve yet to meet a woman who was uncomfortable with us using toys together but have, unfortunately, encountered men who feel inadequate if toys are involved.

Terrible idea, but so damn satisfying.

Removed by mod

You are correct that it would be a felony, however that could be the case for throwing anything at anyone. I said it would make me happy, which is not the same as telling people it’s a safe or legal thing to do, nor that they should actually do it.

Thank you for clarifying for folks but everyone should take this as a reminder that you should take anything you read on the internet with a grain of salt.

If anyone deserves to not have food, it’s the fascists. If protesters could suddenly become pro tennis players and hit the canisters back at ICE, though, that would make me so happy.