You literally brought it up. I even explained how the other person was not talking about sanitation so that it was clear that it was you who did so. I understood them the first time just fine.

You’re being, like, turbo-stupid right now. Cut it out.

Actually not wearing gloves and washing your hands regularly is, I believe, generally bettee for sanitation. There’s a lot of false confidence and shit with gloves, and they cost money and are technically a limited resource. You should always have them on hand, especially for if you get cut and need to wear a bandaid, but washing your hands as needed is totally fine.

And as it relates to this conversation they have a point in that gloves fucking suck to wear. They’re weirdly sticky and also even tight ones are like wearing loose skin and it just kinda sucks. Again, super great to have around and they can be awesome for some tasks where you just do not want to have to do anything more than removing the glove and rinsing, but the point stands.

That sometimes works, but sometimes the right way is not immediately comfortable so people so stuff that seems right and hurt themselves. Sometimes the thing that seemed correct initially was only because of a lack of deeper understanding and an ignorance of the knowledge of those who have already made the mistakes.

I dance, play instruments, drive cars, and do a whole lot of other things where the immediately comfortable thing is so often one of the best ways to develop a massively limiting habit that is a huge pain to get away from once you realize how badly it’s holding you back.

It’s a case-by-case basis, of course, but simply “the best is what you’re most comfortable with” does not have near the nuance it needs to not be abused. It is great advice for people once they have built up a strong base of knowledge, and until then they need to get over it and try things.

Something about god’s holding out to see if Trump wins because he’s not sure wait hold on…

It would be nice to make them say it, though. Every little bit counts!

…right.

Are you, like, ok?

I said that monogamy can hide issues, and that people are totally able to be emotionally intelligent and secure while preferring to be monogamous. You’re not so good at this “reading” thing, are ya?

And ya know what, we’ve seen plenty of examples of people being pretty shitty, on purpose or not, and could really use people getting better. There are a LOT of people who support Donald Trump, are we going to argue that sheer numbers makes them correct?

So, yea, we do have a lot to fix. Sticking our heads in the sand and pretending nothing is wrong isn’t a solution, you coward.

I’m countering your anecdotal evidence with my own, and between us I’m not the one trying to limit people to one or the other.

You got some shit to work through that we won’t fix today but I hope you get to it eventually, genuinely.

You’re really dodging my entire point here. You’re trying to use generic, anecdotal “evidence” to tell individuals that they shouldn’t expect something and should just do it your way.

And I’ve seen plenty of my actual friends go into them being clear about it from the start, communicating fully, and everyone party to it also knowing that a relationship ending naturally is not “falling apart”.

Yes, monogamy is simple and doesn’t require near the same levels of trust and communication(though it fuckin’ should). As a general statement we’re all pretty emotionally stunted and people trying something like that out without the skills to pay the bills are going to have a bad time. On an individual level there are absolutely people who can, and do, handle it really well. All the people I know who participate in open relationships are very emotionally intelligent, honest, and understanding people so it’s no small wonder that they can hack it where others struggle.

No one is asking you to be in an open relationship and it’s totally valid to not want to be in one. You can be all those nice things I mentioned and still prefer monogamy, too.

That’s what you took from that? Ok, bud.

And yet I’ve seen plenty of successful ones. Not everyone’s needs and desires align and you’re just going to have to get ovee that. You’re also whining about being pressured while actively trying to imply that people who want an open relationship should shut up and stick with monogamy. We call that “being a hypocrit”.

But I doubt you give a shit.

Yikes.

“No you”

Just stop.

Nobody said “all men”, you’re making shit up. I’d say talk to a woman but, uh, maybe leave them be they have enough problems without doing all the emotional labour of making you feel special.

You’re a defensive lil’ baby who clearly doesn’t want to even begin to try understanding what’s going on. This isn’t about you, man-child. Dealing with you on the daily must be fucking insufferable and sharing a gender/sex with you is an embarrassment.

You offerer a hypothetical, I continued it.

I was in one, it was open, and while the openess was never really explored it was not at all a component in the ending of said relationship. In fact, I enjoyed that we could trust each other and have conversations with nuance about the topic.

The lady I’m crushin’ on right now has had to move away for going back to school so we’re keeping it friends until she comes back in the summer and even then it’ll need to be casual since she’s gotta go back after. In this case I’m not concerned with what is her business and she’s not concerned with what is my business, we just like each other and that’s that.

Regardless, I don’t need to be actively in a relationship to call out your nonsense and you’re dodging the question. C’mon, bud, do better.

I literally said it was an intense example. If that’s what you took from my comment then good fucking lord…

You’re being a shitty person right now, I hope one day you can gather the strength to acknowledge it and do better.

My mom is far too forgiving and it absolutely messed me up a little. But I’m also not a fucking dumbass on autopilot so I acknowledged shortcomings and fixed them. Their fathers also allowed that behaviour to happen, and it’s not even unlikely that they stopped the mothers “being so hard on them” if they stepped in in the way you’re asking for. The mothers had to put up with shit and have borderline to actuall PTSD and are too protecting themselves to go after the very behaviour they’re trying to avoid needing to deal with.

No, the moms are not to blame.

It’s insane. They get absolutely bent the fuck out of shape when women don’t immediately trust them to go into dark alleys with them and when a woman just says explicitly, off the top, what she wants and it doesn’t line up with their desires they go feral telling her unreasonable she’s being.

They talk such big shit about being generalized and then in turn refuse to accept a woman’s individual choices and preferences. They don’t even stop to understand that women cannot read minds to know who’s safe or not, and frankly just in that they kinda show exactly why they might be having trouble.

—

“I’d just like some basic emotional maturity.”

“Ok so this one time a woman was mean to me so real quick I’m gunna weaponize that and tell you that it gives me permission to be a big fucking baby.”

Congratulations on landing yourself in a good place. I won’t even try to tell you that you may simply not notice them putting up with shit.

That’s not everyone’s experience, and you’re not being helpful or compassionate with that comment. The opposite, even. You aren’t the victim here, bro, sit down.

As long as the woman is clear about it then your guy friends chasing that which cannot be caught is on them. Love is not a transaction and even if it was women have every right not to do business with people they don’t want to do business with.

In your example if your SO wanted an open relationship and you didn’t then that is when you say “if this is a deal breaker for both of us then we had a good run but I’m sorry.” It sucks, sure, but if you turn around and tell her that she can’t do what feels right to her then all you’re doing is using the relationship to pressure her into monogamy. It doesn’t fucking matter how popular or rare an idea is because you and your SO are individuals and have your own, individual needs. I mean christ, in your example you’re mad because a minority of women are supportive of her choice and that somehow makes it wrong? Do you hear yourself?