ASSNA GHANTA SUPABAWL!

A minion away from being a boomer meme.

I don’t know who we’re making as our banter midfield or forward, but our banter manager should be Arsene Wenger when he’s wearing his coat.

Da.

Alongside the French Gabriel for good measure.

Gonna try to put recency bias aside, and only gonna focus on the keepers who had actual stints as starters (so no Macey or Runarsson or, sadly, Turner).

Almunia - Christ on skates. Next!

Fabianski - Won a Cup for us but also nearly lost it for us that same game. Decent midtable club keeper, as seen at West Ham, but he didn’t look anything like he does now when he played for us.

Szczesny - Reckless as fuck, smoked in the bathroom, etc. etc. Was a good keeper and has done very well for himself at Juve, but when he was with us, he wasn’t quite who he would become.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOSPINA! - No.

Cech - He was extremely solid for us, and I won’t let a nightmare final game at the Europa League Final color that. I just wish he’d saved one penalty for us. Just one!

Leno - I think Leno might actually be the best pure shotstopper in the league, and he was really good for us. A shame he wasn’t the right fit for the way we wanted to play.

Martinez - When he came on for Leno, I thought for sure we were fucked, and then he turned out to be a goddamn brick wall of a backstop. Cometh the hour, cometh the Emi. Sad to see him go, but we’ll always have that catch of the ball right on the line of the penalty area that Chavs fans are still salty about to win us the FA Cup.

Ramsdale - That first season when he was behind Leno was like a religious experience after years of what we had before (even Leno). Those flying saves against Leicester, the laser passes, first-season Ramsdale was a different gravy. A shame that he got complacent.

Raya - Statistically clear of Ramsdale, etc. etc., and I think he’s a better keeper, but his long-term impact is still yet to be assessed. And maaaaaan, I really don’t want to be nervous when the ball’s in our box again.

For my money, it’s Ramsdale, but let’s give Raya some time.

Olivier Giroud, inverted Keeper

Well, of course. Matthew 10:34 clearly shows Jesus saying “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.”

…o shit o fuck we play the Blades next. What religious madness are we in for?

These are the fogging estandards, after all.

No cap, I was in a poor neighborhood, and my 2 day old son looked at the people, then looked at me, and said “Father, why do people just make up stories involving children for social media clout?”

Okay, well then what about @Newcastle, @Sevilla, @Villa, @West Ham, @PSV (which we lost last year), and home to Brighton (which we also lost last year)?

Those are six of the thirteen matches between now and @Liverpool. They may not be as tough as the ones mentioned, but to pretend like tough matches aren’t happening until months down the line is extremely overconfident. They will be tough matches. Favorites in all of them we may be, but we can’t afford lapses in concentration in any of them, except maybe West Ham (EFL Cup).

Yes, but you can only play with fire so many times before you get burned. We still have some incredibly tough fixtures coming up. Old Trafford, Etihad, TH Stadium, and both Liverpool matches, for starters. And this is to say nothing of the Cups and CL.

It’d be one thing if we were playing like we did after the second goal, except all game. But we just looked lost out there till the second goal galvanized the team into action. We can’t do that and expect to come away unscathed.