Fine, I’ll start killing people at festivals so as to re-establish a semblant of balance in the universe.

Counterpoint:
The Thing (1982) vs The Thing (2011)

The plane crashed after jumping out of a window.

The low light of the room and the human brain’s tendency to use short cuts makes your eyes perceive a distorted reflection of yourself after you stare at the reflection for a while.

If you’re on acid, maybe.

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If you’re serious about it, the first thing to do is change your rhetoric.
Don’t say “I need to quit drinking” or “I should quit smoking” or “I’d love to lose weight”.
Instead say “I am quitting”.
When you use words like “need to” or “should” or “ought to”, you set your mind to think that the conditions required for you to quit aren’t met yet, that there is some extra step for you to take before you can quit. When in actuality there isn’t anything stopping you but yourself.
Giving up is hard sometimes, but it is a lot easier when you genuinely set your mind to it and to do so adopting the right rhetoric is a fundamental key for it.
Haven’t had a drink in years, one of the factors is because I genuinely put my mindset in imperative mode rather than using conditional.

You’re supposed to eat them you freak.

Bollox, I had one years ago, thought it was complete and utter shite/not for me and stuck with psychedelics without doing any coke ever again.

I’m a misanthrope, I don’t have any respect for anyone to begin with.

But, people still do need larger vehicles for various tasks.

If those tasks aren’t daily occurrences, get a fucking rental.
You don’t need a monster truck in your driveway because one day you might have to move a couch or a fridge.
If cities weren’t designed around cars, you wouldn’t need them to go to the shops.
If zoning laws weren’t so fucking retarded you could have stores that weren’t forced to have ridiculous parking spaces next to them and could have actual city centers.
Cars are an aberration, we shouldn’t have to rely on them to live.

Learn 2 read, noob.

That spiderman pointing at spiderman pointing at spiderman scene is going to make the rounds.

“TikTok is just like reading a book”

-OP

The plural of nazi is nazis. “Nazi’s” is the possessive form.

Because cops are cracking skulls, gouging eyes and blowing hands when they aren’t straight up murdering someone who doesn’t comply with them.

I’ve opted to pronounce it either Jgif or Gjif, that way I piss off twice as many people.

Terrorist fist jab

Please don’t make me feel old.

I thought it was only possible with “bad comic book cover” type of pose.

How many of them actually vote?

I’ve stopped giving handshakes to almost anyone, favouring the ol’ terrorist fist jab instead. I get awkward reactions sometimes but some people seem to get why. Masking up again is gonna be fun, can’t wait to hear the vaxxosckeptics tell me all about how everything is a hoax again.