Just to piss you off.

As you can imagine I spend a lot of time writing my internet comments in a very calculated and specific way. There is meaning and motive to every word and every phrase.

Normally that motive is to specifically and exclusively bother you. It’s a very big part of my life.

Op said they were on a bike. Op said there were two designated bike lanes. Ok said car nearly hit them.

One of two things must be true.

Car entered the bike lane. A thing that happens often.

Op was riding in the traffic lane instead of the two designated bike lanes, then posted about it, and specifically mentioned the two bike lanes they were not using for no reason other than to make themself look bad. A thing that doesn’t happen often.

You see how short one explanation is compared to the other? Yeah the short explanation is probably what happened. It’s the most likely explanation.

I don’t believe in wars (don’t message me, yes there was a way to end your specific example thru diplomacy. Look it up on google)

Anyway I always go with “I admire you’re bravery” because that doesn’t go against my beliefs but still shows respect for what they had to do.

I love that part of the internet.

Kinda like “guy code”

“Was said he was with you last night”

"Yep, all night. Cleaned the spark plugs in my car and drained the blinker fluid. Couldn’t have done it without him "

But instead it’s “parent code”

“Yeah fortnight is closed. They close it so everyone can get a good night’s sleep and be ready for the morning!”

I was going to tell a personal story about telling my son McDonald’s was closed when I was broke or in a hurry but it reminded me of another cute store.

My son broke his arm in a McDonald’s once. Hyper extended his elbow. Got a couple pins.

Anyway a year or so later they completely remodeled that McDonald’s.

We drove by the demolished building during the remodel and my son shouted “that’s what you get for breaking my arm! Who’s broken now!”

Adorable vengeance served adorably cold.

We aren’t going by anecdotes. We are going by what’s most reasonable to assume.

Op had an option to not be in danger then. They were in the car lane to feel the drama.

That’s you making a wild leap to blame the bike.

I’m using what’s called occums razor. Op mentioned the bike lanes. Op didn’t say anything about being in the main road.

It’s more reasonable to assume they were using the bike lanes they mentioned. It’s unreasonable to assume they were in the road and only mentioned the bike lanes to us in order to make themselves look bad. That doesn’t make sense.

Nor did the cyclist. Two wrongs don’t make you right.

Again there is no reason to assume the cyclist isn’t in the bike lane or is breaking any kind of law. You just decided entirely on your own that they must be in the road.

I saw a car driving on the bike path just yesterday. Not even a bike lane, I completely separate path on the side of the road separated by a big ditch. They drove on the bike path to avoid traffic lights.

You’re picking and choosing assumptions that suit your preference.

That’s pretty rich considering you’re assuming OP (on a bike) specifically mentioned two designated bike lanes, decided to ride in the road instead, then told all of us so we would know he’s a jerk.

If they were riding in the road they wouldn’t have mentioned the bike lanes at all so they looked like the “good guy”

“So I was stomping on some kittens right, then this guy cut in line at Walmart right in front of me! What a jerk”

Why would someone include the part of the story that made them the bad guy?

You are the one assuming whatever fits you’re narrative the best. You must drive a BMW and are here to troll bike riders.

We don’t know how it’s pronounced. It’s an actual name from old English days.

I say ay-ee-ay-oh

Good f***In luck pronouncing it lol.

Got in early. Only four letters long. I’ve already passed it down to my son lol

So you’re assuming the bike was in a car lane instead of a car trying to drive in the designated bike lane?

Considering the car was going 70 in a thirty it doesn’t sound like he obeyed the rules of the road.

Good to see Tim Curry is still getting work.

I’ll tell you what let’s meet in the middle. Make the job application work with my auto fill and I’ll put down a $1 deposit .

Love the joke but in reality everything has that range.

Some frogs are cool, some good to eat, some make you hallucinate, and some immediately kill you.

I believe tomatoes are also part a deadly family of plant Im too lazy to look up.

Berries, octopus, liver, everything.

Damn nature, you scary.

I appreciate your kind words.

And you pretty much nailed it on both fronts.

I listened to some shrink talking on the radio probably over a decade ago. She mentioned that it wasn’t abnormal for her patients to say they don’t know what they enjoy.

I matured late and had kids young. My kids are adults now.

I don’t have hobbies or interests. I’ve been busy working .

My boss pissed me off the other day. I could find an easier job. Maybe take a pay cut.

What else would I do though?

I don’t have hobbies, I don’t really want one. I don’t have friends, and I never really wanted them. I do have family and people who love me don’t worry.

I don’t have friends, hangout spots, hobbies, TV shows I binged. I don’t even know what I like. So I guess I work? I should probably find something. Not mineral collecting but maybe trains?

I mean yeah but that’s a different kind of unfairness.

What I’m talking about is one person being hungry while another person is forced to eat food when they aren’t. You’re more talking about someone who doesn’t deserve a multiple course meal.

Knowing I’m going to mostly throw this shit away and not enjoy it while there are other people who want it sucks.

This kind of thing always seems so unfair to me. They were writing a book and meeting new friends. Meanwhile I’m so damn tired and ready to rest. I’d give you’re friend 10 or twenty years off my own life if it were an option.

I wouldn’t hurt myself, I’m just saying another 30 or forty years seems so daunting…there’s people who want those years and that’s unfair.

Can confirm. Every now and then one my cashiers will call me over and be like “this old woman handed a signed piece of paper instead of money?”

It’s also funny to show them the ol’ shotgun credit card imprinter “you put the card there and the paper here kachunk and in a few weeks wed find out if they actually had the money at all!”

How the hell did that system work for soo long lol

For fifty bucks I’ll tell you exactly how to make money scamming people.

“does that actually work”

“No it never does… But it might work for us”

-Arrested development