I was so confident last week. After some six years of (needlessly) taking various antidepressants and dealing with how awful withdrawal from each of those was, I had no concerns about being faced with the shortage. I usually don’t take my Elvanse at the weekends and I’m fine, and I’ve got the Amfexa boosters to tide me over, so I felt like I was ready for what was coming. What I’d forgotten to consider was that I don’t normally have to be anywhere at 8am or do anything that requires focus at the weekends.

This has been my third day without meds and Amfies haven’t tided me over at all. These last couple of work days have been tough, at a time where I really need to be at my best. It’s really highlighted the difference the meds make, although right now it’s hard to tell where the old, unmedicated me starts and the withdrawals end.

Don’t get me wrong, the Elvanse withdrawals so far don’t hold a candle to going cold turkey on anti-d’s but I worry for everyone out there dealing with the shortage that hasn’t been through medication withdrawal before. I’m fortunate enough to have medication coming some time next week tomorrow(!!) but right now even that feels like an eternity away; what about all the people that have no idea when their next prescription is coming?

To everyone out there suffering from withdrawals: it’s cliched but stay strong, it won’t last forever. It can be scary and things might be rocky for a bit, and you may act or think in ways that are unlike you; show yourself some compassion and understand this isn’t ‘you’. You’re also not alone in this and there are always people out there you can reach out to if things feel overwhelming, even if it’s an ADHD stranger on the internet.

This shortage has been a monumental fuck up from everyone involved and it’s hard not to feel angry, however futile that anger might be. In that regard, all we can do is hope that something changes as a result of this so it doesn’t happen again.