My last few years were a bit of an awakening to the personhood of non-humans around me. During that time it also seemed a lot of other people had similar experiences - of ‘their’ landscapes talking to them and teach them better stewardship, ask for more mushrooms, bees, diversity in general. Sometimes I felt I was maybe approaching the brink of psychosis, as it was all so strange and different from who I was before. But it added up better.

I integrated these teachings as well as I could into my daily life. Animals need to be cared for, gardens tended, while my mindset shifted from consumer to active participant in life. That means if you use substances to help you understand, you must use them with moderation - because the life around you that you have taken responsibility for needs you to be available. (It also means you have to limit the nonhumans you decide to care for in your garden and stables, as to not be overwhelmed by work).

I’ve recently come into contact with another one who thought they could take a shortcut to a re-connection with landscape by willpower, money, substances, theoretical knowledge. This person came to the region in a whim to start a new life and went in too hard and lost himself in the process.

Back to nature, back to landscape is no child’s play. It’s the real thing. And if we are not born into it our way back has to be gradual and gentle. We are permitted to be half feral only, to dip our toe into the wilderness, but if we arrive in arrogance, as wealthy know-it-alls, if we rush it too much - the mountain will shrug us off again.