I’ve always found it odd when I hear people say this. I’m never quite sure how I’m supposed to take it. I live alone. I have like zero responsibilities outside of work. So in that regard, every single day I do “something nice” for myself. I get to eat whatever I want, watch whatever I want on TV, etc.
One “argument” I’ve heard that this is instead supposed to mean to like exercise or something, but I exercise is very unpleasant to me. I committed to consistent running for over a year and never enjoyed it lol. I feel similarly about all forms of exercise.
I dunno. What am I missing here? Is telling people to do something nice for themselves reserved for people with heavy responsibilities like children and such? Because I don’t understand why people would tell me to do that to myself or how I am supposed to apply that. Existing with high freedom and low responsibilities seems pretty nice to myself so I don’t get it.
Am I just dumb lol?
When I think of that phrase I generally take it to mean something beyond your usual routine. So if you normally eat whatever you want, eating what you want doesn’t count anymore because it’s part of your baseline. Maybe going out for a special meal that’s a bit fancier and you wouldn’t do all the time could be considered treating yourself. Or just going for a walk in nice weather if it’s not something you normally do. The main criteria in my mind is that you enjoy it and it’s something you do for yourself beyond your usual life routine.
That’s actually a take on it that’s much easier to grasp for me. Just the thought of doing something different is a lot easier for me to understand.
I guess the other thing with that is…people say to do something that you like, but I just don’t really like anything to begin with??? Lol. Not a depression issue…I’ve just never been a passionate kind of person!! It’s always super interesting to me when I meet people with passion but that’s just never been my personality.
People say that because they want to be nice. But it’s hard for people to understand when someone thinks and feels significantly differently than they do.
So it might be useful to think of it as, “this person hopes I have a positive experience.” They say it in a way that makes sense to them, and they don’t realize that you think of things differently.
So when they say “do something you like,” think of it as them saying “I hope you do something that makes you feel good.” You may not “like” things the way most people do, but you can still feel good about things - even if it’s an intellectual “this is positive,” as opposed to an emotional “I’m doing something that makes me feel happy.”
I mean, I hate to say it but “I don’t really like anything” is basically textbook depression.
There’s a common misconception that depression means being sad. That’s generally not the case. Depression often manifests as a lack of any strong emotions, happy or sad. It’s the absence of intense feeling, which is exactly what you’re describing.
I’m not trying to diagnose a stranger based on one post on the internet, you know your context, I don’t. But for what it’s worth, life is supposed to contain joy, no matter what kind of person you are. If you truly feel like it doesn’t, you should probably talk to someone. Maybe try to find out what you’re missing.
I don’t lack emotions…the opposite really! I have incredibly intense, overpowering emotions which 90% of the time turn negative. It’s very distressing and often I wish I didn’t feel them. I have the capacity to be happy and sometimes am very happy.
I just lack passion, not emotions! You’d think that doesn’t really correlate, but it’s hard to explain. My powerful emotions don’t motivate me to do anything in particular. I am easily bored of activities in general.
Sometimes my emotions motivate me to listen to songs which actually just incredibly intensify the powerful emotions that I feel. Feeling songs can be such an intense experience to me. But that is not always helpful when the emotion is negative!
In regards to the depression thing, I tried an SSRI with the guidance of a provider recently actually. Was on it for 5-6 months and still having extreme emotions so I’m switching to another class of med to see if it helps lol.
As long as you’re talking to a specialist and working on improving! That’s what matters. :)