The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Commercial_Neat9411 on 2024-12-23 00:48:33.

Throwaway because my stepsiblings follow my main account and might show my dad.

I (18NB) have not always had the best relationship with my father. When I was growing up he was emotionally abusive towards me and my sister but recognised that he wasn’t a good father and genuinely put work into being a better and kinder parent. However, he still be very arguementative at times. Our parents are divorced and the custody court order ended for me this year as I turned 18, however it’s still in place for my sister as she’s still a minor.

In October, my ex-boyfriend died very suddenly. He was only 18 and I was devastated, I still am. We were friends since we were 12 and dated when we were 16-17. We had an amicable breakup and still had a great friendship. When I came out as Non-binary this year, he was the one who cut my hair into a style that made me feel more comfortable and was always incredibly supportive. I was not OK and I’m still grieving him. My dad didn’t really like my ex for reasons I don’t know but helped me with my grief and supported me throughout the grieving process. As a result, I have not been entirely festive this year as my ex’s birthday is the day after Christmas and I’m dreading it because I know it will be a hard day. I have done my absolute best to be cheerful and to be excited for Christmas with my family.

Yesterday, I met up with my ex’s sister as we’re good friends and also I wanted to be there for her because I know that the grief I’m feeling is 10 times worse for her. I was a little late coming home as we talked for a while. When I got home, I apologised for being late and my dad blew up at me. He told me he didn’t want my excuses and he was fed up of me “moping over a dead boy who wasn’t worth my grief”. I was stunned and began crying as my dad went on this rant about he never liked my ex because he was “troublesome” and that me seeing his sister and the fact I was still grieving him was “taking me away from what mattered the most; spending Christmas with my family”. When he was done, he told me to clean up and get ready to go out for dinner with the family in 20 minutes. Instead, I went to my room, packed up my laptop and some of my clothes and left for my mum’s house. My dad called me demanding I go back because it’s his time with me but I reminded him the court order no longer applies to me and that I’m a legal adult so no longer have to see him. I told him that I’d maybe see him in the new year. He has been texting and calling nonstop.

My sister called me earlier begging me to come back because she’s sure our dad didn’t mean it and he is getting more angry and yelling at everyone over tiny mistakes. I told her I was sorry but no, I would not go back after what he said to me. Then she called me selfish and told me I’m ruining everyone’s Christmas. I’m worried that I have genuinely made things worse for everyone by leaving but I’m not going back until maybe the new year. AITA?

Edit: spelling and grammar