The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/urmomzsideh03 on 2024-12-22 15:41:50.
I (26F) have an okay car at the moment, not the car I wanted but it gets me where I need to go. For context, I totaled my last car(long story) and was too scared to drive for a while. In-laws got a new car around this time.
After a few months had passed, I had finally grown confident enough to try again, so I would ask my mother in-law if I could start driving myself places. Every time I asked she would always tell me that I can’t because I wasn’t on the insurance.
Fast forward a few months, my sis in-law messed up her car somehow & my mother in-law was letting her drive their car. Eventually I find out from my father in-law that my sis in-law isn’t on the insurance either so he doesn’t know why she won’t let me drive.
It became a constant argument on why she’s allowed to drive but not me. As soon as I got my car, I decided to lay down some rules based off the situation surrounding their car: 1) I’m not taking sis in-laws’ kids anywhere or picking them up bc they leave trash in mother in-laws car & 2) my car is not a backup vehicle. If something happens to y’all’s car, you’ll have to figure something out. Nothing too crazy right??
Fast forward a few months & sister in-law messed up her car again so now they’re sharing one car. Except every time sis in-law takes their car they turn around and ask me to use mine. When I’d say no because rule #2 they’d get mad and say “well we need you to help us out”. So my reaction would be “well I needed help too & had to fight yall for months to get it” & then I’d end up letting happen anyways because my backbone don’t exist. At one point, my husband had to have a convo with his dad because he thought it would be cool to go pick up one of the kids from school when he only asked me to take my car to the store. Mind you, his dad knew I wasn’t okay with that.
After getting my car out of the shop from an accident & spending way to much money taking lyft to work everyday, my mother in-law was stressing about how she would get to work because my father in-law also needed to use their car to get to work. I tell her, “you know uber & lyft are a thing right?? yall didn’t offer to take me to work so……” Of course she got mad & of course I felt like I was getting buffed down again, so I caved.
Yesterday, my father in-law somehow messed up their car & now they can’t drive it, meaning my car is the only working vehicle. Despite the amount of times I’ve caved, I wanna stand 10 toes down on my decision to not let them use my car because 1) i feel like they just let me struggle for years, not helping me get a car & not letting me drive ntm i continuously watched them help out my sister in-law even though she’s totaled every car she’s had, 2) they should’ve gotten a second car for these situation instead of expecting me to let them use my car & 3) i feel like they don’t ever expect me to say no to them
am i really the asshole here bc idk at this point