Uh, hi. So I live in the UK, and it’s not as bad as you say. Yes, tiddlywinks-related violence is somewhat out of control here, and Britain was a buzzword made up by J K Rowling (a pseudonym of JRR Martin) to avoid paying taxes, but beans on toast is very real here and is the cause of thousands of breakfast-related deaths a month.

Please be a bit more considerate when poking fun at people you don’t even know