You know what’s weird, I don’t remember having a clear “what I want to be when I grow up” aspiration when I was a kid. I don’t even mean I had tons and couldn’t choose, I mean I don’t remember thinking about it much at all. The closest equivalent I can remember was at a certain point, having aspirations about figuring out what was “wrong with the world” and how to fix it once and for all. Then when I chose a college degree, I temporarily had aspirations toward that, but it didn’t pan out well after graduation and I found myself back at the “world fixing” mindset and eventually found my way to communism, though it was hard with all of the red herring paths out there to be led down. There’s more to what happened than that of course, but I think I’ve long had a hard time with the individualist “what will I be when I grow up” thought process. Maybe I was depressed so it didn’t appeal or it mostly didn’t make a lot of sense to me, I don’t know.

I don’t know what my point is other than I guess I never fully “got” the whole “what I want to be when” thing. Even with college, it felt like I was sort of picking something and rolling with it, not because it was “the best thing” but because it was “good enough.” That’s not to say I had no enthusiasm for it at any point - I definitely did at some points - but that it wasn’t exactly something I planned ahead on doing or long dreamed of.

I’m not saying this to sound noble either, it’s just weird to me that that’s how it was for me.