geteilt von: https://lemmy.world/post/18499026
“In the entire dataset, 29% of men said they never approached a woman in person before. 27% said it had been more than one year. This was larger for men in the age 18-25 group: 45% had never approached a woman in person,” according to the study.
A majority of single males surveyed reported fear as the main reason they do not approach women for dates in person. Fear of rejection and fear of social consequences were the two most common responses.
The data highlights a growing concern in the United States and abroad — loneliness. A 2023 report from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services found that almost half of U.S. adults report “measurable levels of loneliness.”
It’s interesting to say the least. It seems as though the social repercussions and rejection are the most profound reason. While the fear of rejection is easy enough to digest. But I think the fear or social consequences is a relatively new construct.
From what I understand it’s the fear of being viewed as a creep to approach a woman out of the blue. Which to me, is reasonable enough. But I don’t think I have ever heard my old man or anyone of his generation bringing this to the table.
Yet I do remember asking my friends about picking up hints and whether or not men are really that bad at it. And most them saying the just don’t want to risk misinterpreting it.
Perhaps there is an argument to be made that approaching women like this, has fallen out of social fashion. What do you guys think?
p.s. I hope this is casual enough of a conversation. I kinda screwed up my last one, I admit.
I met my wife by way of “cold approach” but I wasn’t approaching her to flirt or get her number. Honestly, I was trying to bum a smoke. But we got to talking and we just kept at it. She decided she like me and started flirting, I wasn’t totally oblivious and eventually took the hint. I don’t know if that’s different from what you’re talking about or it’s just that we are older than you are. Just adding another data point to the conversation.
I think that also counts as “approaching”, but I think the “cold approach” the user you replied to was talking about, is when a guy just walks up to a woman out of the blue and says “hey, wanna date?”. I think anyone with half a brain can see that’s not a good approach. It would scare anyone away. You have to ease into it, make up an excuse to start a conversation. Like bumming a cigarette. It’s pretty old fashioned, but I think it’s a decent enough way for a man to approach a woman. Of course it can be done very wrong as well.
Yeah I think the biggest thing is not going into it actively looking for some kind of relationship