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The original was posted on /r/asoneafterinfidelity by /u/Apprehensive-Cost277 on 2023-07-08 21:57:15+00:00.

So disappointed that the man I admired for his integrity and honesty is no more, he’s lost. I’ve witness a 360 change in who he is, what he’s showing me, how he continues to lie about the most minor events.

WS has been NC with AP about 3 months now. AP is not even the issue anymore. Its the lies and stories that he continues to relay, really petty little things.

Today we met up over a meal as he wanted to provide ‘full disclosure’. Confirmed he had done his homework, read articles, ready understood what it meant. Yep, he says “providing all details of the affairs and my actions, and answering all your questions honeslly”.

The first 20 mins were about how we met, how he feels about me. In less than an hour a simple piece of information changed 3 times. He’d done no work trying to get a timeline together. He’d not bothered to go through my emails and messages with various questions I had but remained unanswered.

But he repeatedly says how I meanthe world to him, he’s lost without me, he’s messed up the only thing of value to him, he cares for me.

He’d offered full access to his devices, but then tried to remove pictures (not even of women they were of himself after one of our arguments looking sorry for himself he’d sent his brother) from trash bin, before handing over mobile. His reason - so I wouldn’t be triggered ffs?! He’d also changed all his passwords of accounts I previously had access to, yep, so he could tidy up so I wouldn’t get triggered!

WS level of deception, lies, cover ups is almost pathological. I have some serious concerns now. The initial situation has become so much bigger and unmanageable than it needed to be.

I’ve lost respect, faith and hope in the man facing me today. It all too emotional, exhausting. I’m fed up trying to get him to ‘get it’. I’m not in his head , so can’t pick and choose what bits to believe or not. I’m not even convinced he doesn’t have a burner mobile. He really doesn’t feel safe to be around.

He still gets into a real state of anxiety and panic when challenged or realises his stories don’t check out.

I don’t ever see us getting past this (and kicking myself that I keep opening up opportunities to get this done and dusted)

Be interested in any views from WS and BS on your experiences of this. Just can’t get my head round it unless he has far far worse secrets he’s trying to contain.