i don’t eat meat cause it’s a thing i do since birth but it’s also a thing i have to be kind of annoying about at restaurants etc to ensure that they hear me and interpret what i’m saying right (social anxiety is fun) cause then i’d have to eat the thing i don’t want or have another more awkward interaction w the guy. and it’s very bad in loud places cause it’s even harder to make yourself understood (and i should i say i literally have a vocal condition where one of my vocal cords doesn’t work so it’s fun all around) and it just sucks.

so i tried to order this fucking impossible burger, but they don’t like list separate burgers, they make you list out out loud every bit of what you want, and the fucking thing has a stupid fucking name so you sound like a dumbass saying the stupid fucking name so you’re just blabbering at this poor guy who probably already wrote it down but it’s loud and you’re pissed off cause it’s loud and you have to utter this stupid cutsey little brand name over and over instead of just beef mid-rare please like gordon ramsay. and they had it and it was fine but mid but like, i had to try to yell this out across a table of very cool people i’m trying to be normal and chill with. word has like 4 fucking syllables.

and this dude who’s sitting at the end, very playful and cool and kind and everything, dave-grohl-esque, says jokingly to the guy at the end, in that sort of casual slightly sardonic jim halpert way, ‘oh make sure about the impossible patty’ which yes funny, i respect it is a good joke, i like the joke, but i hate being memed on when i’m put in a situation basically against my will that draws on years of trauma