Question

A question fills my head.
Were I a girl instead
– Same book, but different cover –
Would you become my lover?
Or would we still be friends?

Now, I ask: don’t get me wrong.
I love our friendship, and it’s strong.
I love it when I make you smile,
Even for a little while.
I love it when I’m at your side.
Our conversations make my day.
And nothing makes me feel more pride
Than impressing you some way.

Now, I wonder: can you tell?
How you make me feel so well?
That this smile is just for you?
And if you knew, then what you’d do?

Now, I know that you are straight.
And we’re both guys, so we won’t date.
So a question fills my head.
Were I a girl instead…

Note: I wrote this poem before realizing I’m a trans woman, which is why I’m calling myself a guy in there, but I’m absolutely not one. I have since learned that gender isn’t just a matter of a “different cover” – it’s definitely part of the book.

– Lady Scarecrow

  • Blahaj_Blast@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    35·
    8 months ago

    Finding out you’re trans later in life is like watching a movie littered with spoilers for the ending but you don’t realize it til you get to the end look back.

    • themoonisacheese@sh.itjust.works
      16·
      8 months ago

      Same with autism.

      As far back as I remember, I had a nagging sense that I could be secretly mentally challenged and nobody ever told me. Of course it’s not quite true, and I recognized that it was irrational.

      Now that I know I am autistic, and have the words to describe it: I simply had the very common autistic thought that something was wrong with me and that I didn’t fit in society.

      If you’ll allow me to vent for second:

      When I was 11 my mother got me assessed for being a “gifted kid” (at least here it seems to be an actual diagnosis you can get to help for school accomodations). I shit you not the assessor heard a 11 years old boy who she’d just shown a Rorschach test go “I don’t see anything, it’s just ink on paper” and she diligently checked the “nope, not autistic” box. I’m still fuming.

      • Blahaj_Blast@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        7·
        8 months ago

        I had a similar childhood knowing I was different somehow but I don’t think any adults around me would have even considered autism as a possibility when and where I grew up. I think even now they probably have the mindset of “no you’re not the stereotypical depiction of a high needs autistic person” 🙄

    • essell@lemmy.world
      8·
      8 months ago

      M Night Shyandaman - “I’m a guy now! What a twist!”

      (I know this is a transfem space, no offence meant, the pun works this way around)