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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwaway6290151 on 2023-07-08 14:17:19+00:00.

I (25F) met my fiancée (26F) in high school. We got along very well and we started dating a few months later. We‘ve been together for 9 years now and for her birthday in April, I proposed to her. I was thrilled when she said yes and we started planning our wedding.

We’ve always wanted a winter wedding and our date is in January. Invitations were sent out last week and yesterday, I received an angry call from my brother (33M), asking why he hadn’t received an invite.

Now, my brother has never been very accepting of me being a lesbian. When I first came out, he was very certain that I was simply “confused” and just “hadn’t found the right man yet”.

Over the years I‘ve been with my fiancée, he‘s been constantly criticizing her and our relationship, talking about how it was doomed to fail because one day, we‘d realize what we were missing.

I went low contact with him years ago and I only ever see him at family events but even after my proposal, the comments about our relationship didn‘t stop. When we announce our engagement, he literally asked if we were sure about it, because “divorces are so stressful”. I mean, if anyone knows stuff about divorces, if must be him and his soon-to-be three ex-wives…

When he contacted me, I asked why he had expected an invitation after having absolutely no faith in our relationship for almost a decade, but he got defensive and talked about how not inviting close family to my wedding was beyond rude and that I was an AH for excluding him, my own brother, when even my cousins are invited. After all, I has been invited to all of his weddings (I only attended the first one because I liked his (now ex) wife).

My fiancée fully supports my decision because she can‘t stand him, but my father called and tried to reason with me, promising he‘d make sure my brother behaved if I were to invite him, but I genuinely don‘t want him anywhere near me on our big day.