A sentencing hearing broke down this week for a self-employed handyman from Texas who used a metal whip and unloaded a can of bear spray on officers during the Jan. 6 U.S. Capitol riots.
He was obviously so excited to be near the peaceful process of reading out the Electoral votes that when the large group of tourists blocked his way that he just couldn’t help himself so he decided to go through the window to jump the line and get into the Rotunda first. It’s clearly a case of over enthusiasm for the smooth and boring operation of the Republic.
He also wasn’t soliciting a minor of anything nefarious, your honor! No, he was just reaching out to teach them about why our structure of three branches of government have demonstrated a wisdom in government design that’s a wonder of the world!
He was also just holding the metal whip for a friend. He though the bear spray was deodorant and since people had been working so hard to ensure the large group of tourists at the Capitol had a good time he thought he was doing the police a favor by making them smell nicer.
He was obviously so excited to be near the peaceful process of reading out the Electoral votes that when the large group of tourists blocked his way that he just couldn’t help himself so he decided to go through the window to jump the line and get into the Rotunda first. It’s clearly a case of over enthusiasm for the smooth and boring operation of the Republic.
He also wasn’t soliciting a minor of anything nefarious, your honor! No, he was just reaching out to teach them about why our structure of three branches of government have demonstrated a wisdom in government design that’s a wonder of the world!
He was also just holding the metal whip for a friend. He though the bear spray was deodorant and since people had been working so hard to ensure the large group of tourists at the Capitol had a good time he thought he was doing the police a favor by making them smell nicer.
/s
All very plausible, I’m sure that’s it.