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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/TheyCallMeMidlight on 2023-07-08 12:13:21+00:00.

So here’s the thing.Sorry for the formatting, I’m on my phone.

My (23f) cousin (16m) came to spend a few days with me and my parents. Today, his own parents, my mum’s sister and her husband, came to bring him back to their home.

We were idly chatting as they were waiting for my cousin to finish eating and the subject came for us to talk about hair.

I used to be a redhead when I was younger. I still am, but my hair darkened significantly over the years and therefore I look more dirty blonde now. Since I’ve always liked my original colour, I sometimes used henna dye in the past to bring back a bit of reddish tones to my hair and I always thought it suited me well. I haven’t been able to do so recently because of health issues.

So, during the conversation, I say to my mum that I would like to go back to be a redhead in the future. Cue my aunt looking at me with contempt and telling me that redhead was ugly. I’m not generally one for petty behaviour, but I am a firm believer of boundaries, so I told her that I actually wasn’t asking for her opinion on the matter. Clearly she didn’t think much of it, as she continued describing how ginger hair was ugly and tacky and other choice words about women that dye their hair red I won’t repeat because of how disgustingly mysoginistic it was.

I’ll be honest, I was a bit hurt. I was litterally born with a nest of ginger hair on my head and even though I am not looking like a redhead that much anymore, I have been locked enough for my hair colour to dislike it when someone talks bad about it. I repeated once again that I wasn’t asking for her opinion but she still went on.

My aunt sports what I like to call the classic Karen’s hair colour. You know, that sort of different dirty blonde highlights all over her head. Suffice to say I don’t like it, but didn’t think it was my place to tell her until now. So, when she made yet another comment about how people that dye their hair ginger are basically gypsies (the racism is strong with this one) I had about enough and told her that since unsolicited opinion pleased her, I found her own hair to be looking really tacky and dirty too in my opinion and that I absolutely hated it for how unmanaged it looked.

My mum basically burst into laughter, but my aunt didn’t so much. She was stunned, suffice to say, then went back to her voice full of contempt saying that she didn’t care and that at least SHE didn’t get petty about something like hair colour. I left shortly after as I had other business to attend to and didn’t talk to her much after that. Now, my cousin texted me to tell me how much I hurt his mother by saying this. My mum still find it hilarious.

In my opinion, my aunt should not have dished it if she couldn’t take it, but maybe I am wrong. So AITA?

Edit : fixed some typos