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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/bongravi on 2023-07-08 03:26:22+00:00.


I (35F) live with my husband (39M). We have three girls of our own (2, 5, & 7). We’ve been married for almost 9 years.

My husband’s older brother passed away 10 years ago. He was supposed to be the best man at our wedding. They were very close and the loss forever changed my husband. His brother had a daughter who is now 10. She never got to know her dad, so my husband (her godfather) did his absolute best to try and keep his memory alive and step up to be whatever she needed.

Our niece lives with her mom across the country. They moved away around three years ago, so all of our contact has been through FaceTime. We arranged for a summer visit so our niece could see her father’s side of the family and meet her youngest cousin. Her mom was hesitant about it. She’s very high-strung and protective of her daughter. She’s also very religious. We are as well, but to a lesser extent.

My niece got her first period a few days ago. I was out running errands so my husband was the only one home. She came to him crying. She said something along the lines of “I know it’s gross, but I’m bleeding.” She’d never heard of a period and thought she would have to go to the ER. He told her it was completely normal and showed her where I kept my hygiene products, though he was clueless about how to explain it to her. He tried calling me but I was on my way home so I didn’t answer his call.

I came home a few minutes after and tried to explain how to use the hygiene products I had available. I told her that we’d go in the morning for her to pick out some stuff together so she’d feel more comfortable. It was really shocking to me that she had no idea what was happening to her or even a slight idea that it was normal, but I understand that some girls start earlier than expected or before their parents can give them the puberty talk.

I called her mom after the initial conversation to ask how she wanted me to approach things or if she’d feel more comfortable talking to her daughter herself. She said that she was uncomfortable with the fact my husband had talked to her daughter about her period and that I hadn’t called her the minute I’d found out. She said not to talk to my niece about it because she wasn’t ‘old enough’ and that I’d stepped out of line. When I told her that someone needed to explain it to her, she hung up on me and didn’t return any of my texts.

The next morning I took my niece to buy whatever she wanted (pads, some clothes, chocolate). We also sat down after to talk about what a period is and what to expect going forward. Topics like pain management and the importance of staying clean during that time of month were also discussed. I kept everything age appropriate and as factual as possible. We watched some videos for girls in her situation as well in case there was anything I missed.

I sent her a text this morning to let her know that our niece needed her mom during a time like this and got a rant about how I was corrupting her with adult subjects. AITA?