I try to talk to people a lot, and with luck we’ll both share interests, but maybe it’s different in college.

At the risk of being a sour note in a thread of good advice: it gets worse, and worse, as you get older.

So when you act on the good advice in this thread, plan ahead as well: you’re creating the conditions for meeting new people when you act on the advice here, but maintain those conditions for as long as you can as well. Don’t let friendships ‘naturally’ wane. Keep them going.

From clay of course :(

I have lots of friends I would say and I still feel insecure every day that I actually dont have any friends.

I’ve recently come to realize that I need to be comfy with the ebb and flow of friendships and that it is in fact ok to be alone for a while, but it is good to find people.

I would give yourself some credit, this is the first time you have had to rebuild, and it sucks; but just see it as time to figure out who you are when you’re by yourself. You will look back at this time and cherish the time you where alive when you had no comittments to friends what so ever, this is who you are uninterupted.

Its the best time to travel, or if you’re in study immerse yourself in reading theory and joining local renters unions and activism groups, which are also a great place to make friends. This is also a great time to develop your own culture and hobbies in depth so when you do get to meeting new people you have some cool shit to show them lol.

Good luck comrade, be kind to yourself.

Reiterating the suggestion to take up social hobbies, but also just take up hobbies in general. It gives you interesting things to talk about with other people. For example, I started painting, and talked to other people about it, and now some of them have taken it up and its given us more to talk about and brought us closer together. I find that people like hearing about experiences with hobbies, as its kind of a neutral ground, especially if you’re not an expert in it. It also helps if it’s a visual hobby like painting where I can show people a couple of pictures on my phone as explanation.

If you are a small talker, ask for the person’s phone number at the end of the conversation and send them a message a day later and ask if they want to hangout. Prime locations are coffee shops, grocery stores, airports, and bus stops but you can do it anywhere really.

My wife and I make majority of our friends this way.

CW: mild mention of personality disorder

Pretty much in the same place. Was diagnosed with szpd when I was a kid and ever since I’ve struggled to make friends. However, what I can tell you is: find something you really enjoy doing and meet people who enjoy doing the same. For example, I love working out and programming and that allowed me to foster great friendships.

It wasn’t easy and it won’t be tbh, many come and go, but keep trying! :)

I play disc golf and my city has a weekly random doubles league which is more focused on making friends than competition. I joined a community organization to push our local officials to fix stuff. I also try to take art classes when possible. I’ve done all that stuff for a year now and still only really have acquaintances or distant friends, it will take time to figure out which ones I truly feel comfortable with and can confide in. For reference most people I see at these things are 30+, those folks are slower to warm up to each other since they usually have adult commitments. I did a lot of these same activities in my 20s too and you’re right it was easier to become close with people in a shorter timeframe than it is now.

Volunteer orgs and intramural sports

If you figure it out report back the secrets of the black magic you seek.

Spend time with people doing things. Then invite them out for drinks at the end of the things.

Remember back to freshman orientation:

1. Talk to people in your field, the PhD candidates, other MS students, hell even the undergrads

2. Pick up and engage in social hobbies. If you’re sporty regularly showing up at pickup games is a good way to start, for more nerd inclined joining a game, book, or anime club. The idea is find a social setting for something you love doing so it’s less pressure for everyone involved

3. Go out to the social centers- bars, parks, malls- if you find a place you like you can get to know the regulars

4. Join a singles activity group- these aren’t just for dating