I don’t know if exposure to modern gun culture makes people paranoid, or if paranoid people are just drawn to whacking off over their guns. But here they are ruining it for the rest of us. As usual.

Either way, most (all) of us do not have the types of enemies where we need to slink around our own homes strapped all the time, ready to dive under the couch at the slightest bump, rattle, or… ring of the doorbell. Dude. Nobody is out to get you. I promise.

I have an idea: If you don’t want motherfuckers ringing your doorbell, don’t have a doorbell.