Been seeing a lot of content on Lemmy and google that has me feeling sad, y’all have any tips for distracting yourself when this happens?
Get off the internet.
Memes aside, yeah, get off the internet, do something that makes you feel good. Learn or get better at something you like. I promise the world is gonna be there when you come back, and it’s not all bad as the “news” or social media like to portray.
This one makes me feel kinda silly, like part of me wants to scream obviously but then i realize that is exactly what I don’t do. I’ll try to take a break tomorrow and try to not look at Lemmy like the internet addict that I am (well maybe just my subscribed communities here and there, lol)
How do you cope with the feeling that by ignoring the bad stuff you’re being complicit in their oppression of the lgbt community?
Asking for… a friend
The answer is balance. Firstly, you aren’t obliged to fight every form of oppression people experience. You have to select the areas that you put yourself into.
Secondly, you can’t give all of yourself all of the time. The most effective way to combat oppression is to not burn yourself out, so that you can keep the fight going, and not burning out means being able to walk away when you need to.
tl;dr You need to take care of yourself so that you can fight for others
If I am being honest, at the moment I don’t have the stomach to try and act in really any form. Just looking at everything going on is overwhelming. I guess I just need to build more of a tolerance to this over time, kinda like how with working out you have to take it slow at first. Thanks Ada.
I’m going to assume a few things here.
You’re queer.
You care about the well-being of queer people.
Being constantly immersed in horrible news of the oppression of queer people has a negative effect on your mental well-being.
If all these are true, taking a step back, or a break from the 24h news cycle, or otherwise distracting yourself is a positive for you, a queer person. All of this, all the fighting we do for our rights, isn’t really worth it if we can’t take the time to fucking enjoy life as well. That’s not to say being well-informed and actively fighting oppression aren’t important, but you can’t carry that burden on your shoulders all the time. Self-care as a queer person is honestly a pretty radical act.
I ask myself if there’s anything I can do right now to make things better. A lot of the time, I find that there’s no action that I can take. Sometimes, I find that there is. Either way, it helps me plan, prioritize and not just agonize.
I’m a regular boring ass cis dude, but the hate y’all deal with makes me wanna scream continuously. Please know you are loved and supported. The vocal minority of ignorance can fuck themselves. The majority stand with you and will continue to do so because you’re good people too. Take heart friend!
I haven’t found anything more effective than having an in-person support network (friends, partner, etc). No woman is an island ❤️
Oh yes, a support network. I would love to talk it out with them
All joking aside, I do have supportive friends that I talk to pretty much every day. Its just that, y’know, life loves to get in the way of things. It’s either a college paper they need to write last minute, or a family gatherings, or even just a depression nap. I don’t really know where I was going with this, but I guess all I am saying is that I can’t always be with loved ones. You are right though, they help immensely.
Oh and about partners, i’ll get back to you on that one.
I could add to this, tips for those in states that are actively trying to legislate us out of existence.
I mean, a couple of my backup plans are find somewhere my family has a better chance of safety, but until then 🤷♀️
This podcast episode of a little bit fruity brought me a lot of comfort around this. It’s about the history of queer panics in the US.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oUu2aM8e87U
Also, from someone who also lives in one of the worst states for trans rights and legislation, I feel ya. It sucks, but you’ll figure things out when the time comes. Try to focus on the present moment and the things you do have. There’s people out there who are fighting for us, and the majority of people don’t believe what the far right talking heads say they do.
Existing out in public as a trans person is your way to contribute to the cause. Support other trans people when you can. Keep living life. It’s gonna be tough sometimes, but you can do this. I believe in you 💜
Yeah, I would also like to see how others have planned now that you mention it. At the moment the only things I have thought about are, “da da da Canada” or “da da da Sweden.”
My current thoughts are
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move to. Better state if the election goes one way,
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or head for the Canadian border before it’s closed ASAP after the election if it goes the dictator way
or head for the Canadian border before it’s closed ASAP after the election if it goes the dictator way
Yeah, about that. We’re looking set to elect the Conservative Party in our next federal elections, and provincially (which may be slightly more relevant, as healthcare is under provincial jurisdiction) New Brunswick, Saskatchewan and Alberta have all enacted anti-trans policies or legislation in the past year. Québec is currently “evaluating” trans rights, having put in place a “wisdom committee” (“comité des sages”) compromised of exclusively straight cis people.
Things are still probably better than the States overall (for now), but I don’t think anywhere in Canada would be substantially better than a progressive area in the US.
Well, fuck. The EU seems like a vastly more difficult destination, but I don’t want my family to end up in concentration camps in the next couple of years
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Keeping it in perspective helps.
Here’s an example. Erin Reed just released her latest anti-trans legislative risk map. I mentioned it to my partner, with some unease over our next planned road trip to Denver, which crosses a number of the worst states. My partner told me “hmm, ok, but you know even in Florida and Tennessee trans people are surviving and living their lives.”
It’s a good point. I don’t want to feel unwelcome in my own country, I don’t want to become a recluse because it’s safer. I don’t want to give in to fear. The reality is right now, most Americans aren’t really energized or concerned about trans issues – which is both good and bad. They are largely unaware of laws targeting us, and don’t give significant thought to our existence.
I think back to my recent trip which crossed Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, Missouri – all really bad places for trans people – I never had any problems there from anyone. I didn’t go looking for trouble, but I never felt directly threatened either (except by their politicians).
Bad news is bad, but we all find ways to survive.
I’ve found that being active helps. Like physically active, whether exercising or housework, hobbies, anything that involves focus and movement. That tends to elevate my mood and distract me from the worst doom-and-gloom feelings.
Honestly I just try to do things I enjoy and not be so hard on myself. Sometimes ya gotta sort things into two categories: things I can’t do anything about and things I can do things about. If you can’t do anything about it, it’s not worth as much of your time. Block the communities that post negativity that makes you feel like shit. Google profits off of your doom scrolling. Try to cut it out as much as possible. Pay attention to how you feel after interacting with certain content.
If you check the resources tab of this community, there’s a site called Erin in the morning. Assuming you’re an American, it’s good for keeping yourself informed about the things that actually matter and will affect you. Though you still have to consume it in moderation. You’ve got to cut out the rest of the stuff, or at least limit it to reading once a week or something like that, because that shit will tank your mental health and make you feel hopeless. Trust me, I’ve been there.
Lastly, MAKE TRANS FRIENDS NOW. They will be your most invaluable resource. There are various ways to do this, such as at local (or semi-local) LGBTQ events. IRL friends are preferable, but if you can’t make them for whatever reason at least make some trans friends online.
You’ve got this. I believe in you. This community is here for you too.
