Does anyone else feel a degree of imposter syndrome with work, like it’s only matter of time until you can’t work around your ADHD enough to avoid problems and everything falls apart?

I’m currently provisionally diagnosed with ADHD, pending further testing. I managed to get a degree and was working for a few years when someone recommended I get tested where I proceeded to finally pass this one test with flying colors…

My experience with work is that in the beginning, my attitude and enthusiasm to learn tends to give my bosses the impression that I have so much potential.

Then, cue the slow car crash that is me failing to meet that potential, then the cracks starting to show due to disorganisstion or task paralysis in my work, eventually putting me in a position where my competency is questioned and I’m falling behind on work because I’m struggling to meet (imo) great expectations that might seem realistic to neurotypical people, but is a struggle for me.

Then I jump ship to a new job, and the cycle restarts.

I thought I had a handle on my latest job. Stayed for just over a year. I thought this was it, I wasn’t an imposter, I was finally fitting in. Then cracks, and everything fell apart and I’m now at risk of losing my job again. I tried my best, and I just feel disappointed in myself, like even I can’t trust myself to do things right even at max effort.

This sucks.

  • Kamikazimatt@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    2·
    9 months ago

    I work in IT, specifically desktop support. Over the last decade I’ve moved up into management and I’ve always had that feeling of things are going to fall to the ground any minute now. Everything is overwhelming and how can I possibly keep up. I just need to work faster. I decided to get tested when I moved into management and it got even harder to keep track of everything. I was diagnosed with combined adhd as well as moderate depression and anxiety maybe 6 months after that.

    The thing that helped me most with getting a handle on my job has been medication, especially adderall/vyvanse (I like adderall better, but this ongoing shortage sucks). It can still be hard to concentrate, but I have a much easier time figuring out what needs to be done and being able to concentrate on that and somewhat ignore all the millions of other things that I need to pay attention to.

    As long as you expect yourself to fail, it’ll eventually happen. Even if you’re doing a perfect job, you’ll burn yourself out with the stress of feeling like you’ll eventually fail. One thing that could help, if you don’t already, keep a task list as well. Even if it’s reminders of the things you need to do. I’ve found having that has helped me remember the next day or even later that same day the things I need to do.

    What do you need to do to get from a provisional ADHD diagnosis to a full one? And have you mentioned to your doctor the anxiety you have for work?