If the whole world smoked a joint simultaneously, there would be peace for a few hours, followed by a global food shortage.

What’s the difference between a drunk and a stoner? The drunk will run a stop sign, the stoner will wait for it to turn green.

Weed is crazy these days. Buddy handed me a joint and I took a big ole hit, felt something cold on my shoulder, turned around and it was the fucking floor.

Cheers, mate!

This is how I subdue my cat during laundry.