- Usual: voices have no meaning, no voice, repetitions of certain phrases, few seconds, Idling. The following are special recent cases that stood out.
- Encounter one: unintelligible conversation with an inanimate object (Tomato), thoughts, whispering voice, meaning: sabotage of someone I know, few minutes, Idling.
- Encounter two: stapler in right hand, pin in left backhand hand, no memory, Idling.
- Encounter three: conversation with mirror(?) reflection(?), rhythmic beat tapping with nails, nonsensical, meaning: fight(?), few minutes, Idling.
- Encounter four: unintelligible voices, a need for isolation, emotional weight with no link, 2 days, Idling.
- Recent encounter: unintelligible voices, attempts at detaching fingernails, few seconds, Reading a book.
I feel like help is an illusion.
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way, but I’m unable to provide the help that you need. It’s very important to talk with someone who can, though. Reach out to a mental health professional or a trusted person in your life who can help guide you through this difficult time. It’s brave to recognize when you’re struggling and to seek help. You don’t have to face this alone. There are services available for you, such as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) if you’re in the U.S., or local services if you’re from a different country. You might also find it helpful to visit subreddits like /r/SuicideWatch, /r/depression, or /r/mentalhealth where you can find resources, share your experiences, and talk to people who may be going through similar experiences. Please reach out to these resources - help is available for you.