I used to take that too, and it absolutely obliterated my appetite. It was also the reason I learned what anxiety actually was lol. I couldn’t enjoy food (and when I did eat, it was difficult to get through a full plate), never felt like doing things I enjoyed, and was significantly quieter around my friends. Couldn’t bring myself to laugh with them either. I had absolutely no energy and life felt like when you see those commercials for various mental disorder medications before they take their product, where they’re in monochrome black and white, not doing anything in particular and showing no positive emotions.
When I’d skip taking it, it was like being slingshotted back into the deep end of ADHD. Suddenly I was better than normal and I enjoyed being with my friends at school. And when I got home I couldn’t wait to get back to playing/reading/watching everything I had always enjoyed before I started taking that godforsaken pill.
I haven’t taken it again in over a decade, and now I feel stuck in the middle of those two worlds. Like I’m still in monochrome but I still have things in my life with color to keep me going. I’m still trying to figure out if it’s the toll my meds took on my brain or if it’s just adulthood. Maybe both.
Like I’m still in monochrome but I still have things in my life with color to keep me going. I’m still trying to figure out if it’s the toll my meds took on my brain or if it’s just adulthood. Maybe both.
Probably more a mixture of ADHD and adulthood, honestly. I totally relate to the monochrome with bits of color. I’ve felt like that for the better part of a decade and just always assumed it had something to do with the ever present anxiety/depression that ride with the ADHD. I never took Ritalin, but I was on adderall for a few years in college after I finally got diagnosed; didn’t really have any mental fatigue symptoms like you described, just made my body constantly run hot.
I used to take that too, and it absolutely obliterated my appetite. It was also the reason I learned what anxiety actually was lol. I couldn’t enjoy food (and when I did eat, it was difficult to get through a full plate), never felt like doing things I enjoyed, and was significantly quieter around my friends. Couldn’t bring myself to laugh with them either. I had absolutely no energy and life felt like when you see those commercials for various mental disorder medications before they take their product, where they’re in monochrome black and white, not doing anything in particular and showing no positive emotions.
When I’d skip taking it, it was like being slingshotted back into the deep end of ADHD. Suddenly I was better than normal and I enjoyed being with my friends at school. And when I got home I couldn’t wait to get back to playing/reading/watching everything I had always enjoyed before I started taking that godforsaken pill.
I haven’t taken it again in over a decade, and now I feel stuck in the middle of those two worlds. Like I’m still in monochrome but I still have things in my life with color to keep me going. I’m still trying to figure out if it’s the toll my meds took on my brain or if it’s just adulthood. Maybe both.
Anyways. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.
Probably more a mixture of ADHD and adulthood, honestly. I totally relate to the monochrome with bits of color. I’ve felt like that for the better part of a decade and just always assumed it had something to do with the ever present anxiety/depression that ride with the ADHD. I never took Ritalin, but I was on adderall for a few years in college after I finally got diagnosed; didn’t really have any mental fatigue symptoms like you described, just made my body constantly run hot.