Thanks mew for contacting our pawffices!! Mew haz been wronged and deserb justhiss.

While there does seem to be some ebidence for the claim that mews is a big big kitty, mews two legged fren has biolated the anti cat shaming catshutes:

“It is unclawful to call kitty cats disparaging names and or body shame mews kitty cat. Biolashuns of this catshute is punhisshable with a fine of at least one million scritches and loves and unlimited keyboard sitting, payable imeowdiately.”

You may be able to use the rule of:

“I iz round, I hold meow ground (until gibben second dinners).”

BUT, in cases of generously sized kitties, there is precedent for second dinners being only smol. Hoomans haz obligayshuns to always obey the Furrst Ammendment of the Catstitooshun: “Hooman frens must take all steps necessary to keep kitty oberlords healthy and safe, eben when they doesn’t like it.”

We is sure mews hooman fren wishes to gib mew ALL THE CANS but is legally bound to gently halps mew dechonkify.

Purrrrr,

Aubergine and Belladonna, Cattorneys at Paw