Hi I am Cristiano’s fragile ego. One day my coach tried to coach me and as I ran towards to him to confront him, I suddenly saw myself as a nearly 40 year old man behaving like a baby. This betrayal by God and the nature of time was unbearable to me and I decided to throw a tantrum that would surround me until I could escape shamefacedly to a country untouched by the ravages of time. There it is still the 18th century, men are still men, and my whole future is ahead of me. Siu there.

Ten Hag wanted his own team & style

CR7 wasnt his signing, hence he doesnt want him

Hi, Ronaldo here.

Ten Hag benched me, so I said to him that I have more hair on my balls than he has on his head.

Ronaldo, GOAT.

I think Erik wanted to sink expectations so low that it was ok to win 1-0 against Luton. You know once it meant getting up to 6th. But Ronaldo would be aiming to high like trying to win the Premier league.