I don’t really do anything worthwhile. Or at least that is what it sounds like when it is talked about. “You didn’t have to do that” “you don’t feel like that do you” I must really not be good at anything, and I really did think I was helping. But I guess I should keep to what I am good at, being in the way.

I have what I need, a place so no one will need to deal with clean up, and I have the know how. Courage is the thing I need and let me tell you my courage grows everyday.

I will probably delete this when I wakeup in the morning because I am a coward, but soon I will have the strength and need the relief enough.

    • AkaBobHoward@lemmy.worldOP
      3·
      1 year ago

      I was just going to send a little thank you note, I am holding on, I made appointments with my therapist and psychiatrist, in the meantime I will do my best.

        • AkaBobHoward@lemmy.worldOP
          2·
          1 year ago

          Thanks for coming back, I am doing okay, it is just so strange to have people check on me. It feels so unusual. I really do appreciate.

            • AkaBobHoward@lemmy.worldOP
              2·
              11 months ago

              @Rhoeri@lemmy.world

              So the two of you kind of stuck with me, so I thought I would give you a little update, if you are interested in what details I have feel free to DM

              Turns out I have a cardiac condition that may be causing the unrelenting depression and making me melt down, my cardiologist “looked at one last thing” I am being treated and am able to stay at home and don’t have to go to a facility at at all for supervision because I am getting better.

              Thought you might be interested, and wanted to say thanks again.

              • Rhoeri@lemmy.worldEnglish
                2·
                11 months ago

                That’s fantastic news! Not the cardiac thing, but that you have an answer to your depression. It’s so good to know what the source is. Makes it easier to treat, and now you can have hope!

                So happy you’re doing well!

              • TrickDacy@lemmy.world
                1·
                11 months ago

                Hi there. I am really glad to hear that you are feeling better and that you have a possible explanation for how you have been feeling. I really hope you continue to make improvements and I hope that your treatments go well!

      • Rhoeri@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        1 year ago

        No need for thank you. Trying is thanks enough and all I want from you. I’m glad you’re still here.