We have a simple home(1 floor. 1bath. 2rooms) We live in a calm neighborhood, we don’t own extremely expensive things. And he wants a camera inside our home? For what? This camera can also record audio. We have a child together, we work and we come home. Why do we neeed a camera inside? I feel like it’s an invasion of privacy! I love being silly inside our home. I love yelling. I love singing annoyingly when I’m alone. Should I feel disrespected? Should he feel disrespected? He’s bringing out the “what do you have to hide card”.

  • ContributionSuch2655@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    See a counselor together. There’s obviously something causing a trust issue, and it’s probably completely minor. A counselor can help you sort it out. My wife and I saw one years ago and it was awesome. We’re on a great path now but often I wish we still saw one with some regularity.

    Your analogy about the phone is spot on. You’re not doing anything wrong but do you really want someone seeing your search history about “how long do hemorrhoids last?” Hell nah.

  • theplacesyougo@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    This question belongs in r/relationships I think.

    I had the desire for cameras inside and outside cause live in not the worst but not the greatest area. My SO had no real issues with it so we went for it. A few weeks later I noticed myself going into a deep state of depression and it took me a while to realize that the inside cameras was making me very uneasy, feeling like I was being watched. Being a veteran with PTSD there were likely other things that contributed and made the matter even worse but really I felt like I wasn’t even living in my own home. I started tip-toeing, opening/closing doors slowly, and being as quiet as possible just for example. In retrospect this all feels a little dramatic but beforehand I never considered any of that being a possibility and it ended up making me feel a way I didn’t like of course. You need to talk with (not “at”) your SO about what they want and why they want it and then express your concerns whether that’s your feelings, emotions, safety, and/or something different with your SO. Discuss how there could be impacts not yet realized too. There is compromise here if some level of psychological safety is practiced on both ends.

  • jamaicanbacon107@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    I understand OPs hesitations.

    I have done the following

    • camera firmwares have been tweaked and are now local only and stream to my Home Server and all other access from other devices is blocked
    • external access only via VPN. No Apps, no cloud etc
    • notifications are sent over the cloud but hold only an alert, no Screenshots
    • cameras are turned off when me or my partner are within 100m of our home. I did this with a simple USB switch so the cameras are getting no power at all.
    • persistent notifications Camera On on different devices.
    • using a good Firewall and a SIEM to monitor devices, traffic and access.

    Maybe OP would be OK with a similar setup. I had wanted to use cams for presence and person detection but my partner vetoed that pretty quick.

  • BigTimeButNotReally@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    I have found great relief being able to remotely connect and make sure things are ‘OK’. For example, we were away during a tornado. Another time, my hot water heater leak alarm went off, I was able to log in and verify that it was a false alarm.

    Out of respect for my partner, I keep the mics off, unless I specifically turn them on to check.

  • KTibow@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    For what?

    Just ask lol

    Also because I’m curious, what brand? Does it work with any existing automation or security systems you have?

    I love singing annoyingly when I’m alone.

    He won’t see unless he goes through all of the clips which would take forever

  • SnooDoggos4906@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    For some reason the vendors seem to really push interior cameras. I personally don’t want that either (excluding things like a baby monitor). Maybe he has just bought into the add that it will somehow keep your family safer? It is easier for sure.

    Have you discussed it at all? Just say you wouldnt want to see yourselves online somewhere if you get hacked. I assume it is ring or wyze or blink or similar….

    Offer alternative. Like exterior door cam or something if he’s being protective.

  • Tal_Star@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    I would be against it personally. That said one that covers the entry way might be acceptable but would be better if it was out side.

    Now if you had it installed and only used it when everyone was out side of the house that could be reasonable as well. Personally I doubt it’s to spy on you just wants a way to know whats going on when no one is home.

    • ThatGirl0903@alien.topB
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      1 year ago

      Outside cameras are easier to mess with though.

      Like I’ve got one inside me office that sits in the window facing outside. Everyone outside can very easily see it and I’ve literally watched people notice it and then leave our property. The cameras outside are much easier to block, break, or steal to avoid being seen…

      • shiznizzly@alien.topB
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        1 year ago

        Same. We have an indoor camera sitting on the ledge of a big ass window AND a doorbell camera. The doorbell cam doesn’t phase many people but the little blue light that came on the indoor cam definitely alerted someone who was coming to look into our living room while we were sleeping. She signaled her friends in the bushes and took off running.

    • ankole_watusi@alien.topB
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      1 year ago

      Too bad for the poster with the water leak concerns.

      They would only find out once the water starts pouring out under the doors.

  • wtf_over1@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    It sounds like you’re getting some extra sauce on your Taco and he just wants to make aure

  • duoschmeg@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    Outdoor only. Fake indoor cameras for burglar deterrence would be a compromise, as long as you can tell the difference. Camera footage gets leaked all the time, by emotionally broken people, authorities, etc.

  • mcfetrja@alien.topB
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    1 year ago

    “What do I have to hide? Insecurities, same as any other person who would feel the need to put up an indoor camera in their shared living space.”