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Cake day: December 27th, 2025

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  • SwingingTheLamp@piefed.ziptoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldHow possibly?
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    22 hours ago

    I disclaimed explicitly that I don’t believe that speakers who use the phrase “toxic masculinity” believe that masculinity per se is toxic, but clarified that the issue is whether listeners interpret it that way (based on the pattern established by known bigots). And indeed, while I was writing, somebody else left a comment that does indeed interpret it that way.



  • SwingingTheLamp@piefed.ziptoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldHow possibly?
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    22 hours ago

    The question you have to ask yourself, though, is this: Do I want to scold white people for their privilege, or do I want to get them on my side to fix it? In my experience, rubbing their noses in it is going to set people’s minds against you. Yes, they’re wrong, yes, they’re bad people, but the real world means hard choices between the euphoric glow of self-righteousness, or actual political effectiveness.




  • SwingingTheLamp@piefed.ziptoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldHow possibly?
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    23 hours ago

    Sure, as somebody pointed out above, any social justice term will be attacked and tarred by well-funded right-wing think tanks. But let’s not give 'em a head start by using words that consistently turn off our audience, eh? In my experience, “privilege” and “toxic masculinity” do just that. This example actually bolsters my point: The people using “evil homosexuals” don’t need to add the “evil,” because they’re bigots who believe that homosexuality is evil. Likewise, the people who use “toxic masculinity” don’t need to add the “toxic,” because they’re bigots who believe that masculinity is toxic. (No, I don’t actually believe that, but lots of people seem to.)


  • SwingingTheLamp@piefed.ziptoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldHow possibly?
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    23 hours ago

    Yes, I suggested that what I’ve seen be effective is suggesting that white people imagine their struggles, but with the added burden of aggressive policing, employment discrimination, housing discrimination, and racism in general. There’s no need to drag the term “privilege” out of its academic context, because it has the baggage of many connotations in vernacular usage. That is, just don’t say the word privilege.

    Other commenters have offered some good suggestions. Instead of “toxic masculinity,” I’m partial to The Man Box, which frames the issue as discussing the outside factors that trap men into negative behaviors, rather than implying that they themselves are bad or broken. Wherever the problem actually exists, men are much more receptive this framing.



  • SwingingTheLamp@piefed.ziptoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldHow possibly?
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    1 day ago

    I hate the word “privilege” used in this context. Words have connotations, and “privilege” conjures up images of playing polo at the country club with the upper crust of one’s community, then going back to the office to work as executive vice president of the company your father founded. Yet, the people concerned about social justice seem unreasonably attached to their particular jargon, even if it gets in the way of communication. Over the past 15 years or so, I’ve seen a handful of people get it when it’s explained to them as, “imagine you grew up hardscrabble dirt poor, but also had to deal with racism.” But mostly, the online discussions devolve into a fight over the definition of the word privilege. C’mon, let’s just ditch the word, ferchrissakes! Keep the concept, call it something more relatable!

    Same with “toxic masculinity.” Yes, I get it, the “toxic” adjective is a modifier to talk about a particular type of masculinity, but the people who hear it as “masculinity is toxic” have a point, too. People use adjectives as intensifiers. I guarantee that the people talking about “evil homosexuals” aren’t adding “evil” to distinguish from the good ones.


  • Joshua Slocum put in to port for several extensive refits on his boat over the course of his circumnavigation. (He famously did it solo for the first time around 1895.) Materials engineering had improved enough by 1968 to run the first solo, nonstop circumnavigation race, the Sunday Times Golden Globe Race.

    Nowadays, the sea is still harsh. If one stayed in the less stormy locations, in more-northerly latitudes to avoid the full-bore tropical sun, one could reasonably expect to stay at sea without putting in to port for over a year. The biggest challange would be mental, as loneliness takes a huge toll, as does the bland diet required.