I disclaimed explicitly that I don’t believe that speakers who use the phrase “toxic masculinity” believe that masculinity per se is toxic, but clarified that the issue is whether listeners interpret it that way (based on the pattern established by known bigots). And indeed, while I was writing, somebody else left a comment that does indeed interpret it that way.
SwingingTheLamp
- 7 Posts
- 325 Comments
If you’re going to misrepresent my words, there’s no point in continuing a discussion.
The question you have to ask yourself, though, is this: Do I want to scold white people for their privilege, or do I want to get them on my side to fix it? In my experience, rubbing their noses in it is going to set people’s minds against you. Yes, they’re wrong, yes, they’re bad people, but the real world means hard choices between the euphoric glow of self-righteousness, or actual political effectiveness.
I would point out that I have already shared what I have seen work to get people to understand the issue: Acknowledge that they were not privileged, and to imagine their non-privileged life with the added burden of racism. As for an alternative to toxic masculinity, AlfalFaFail covered some good ones.
But that does not imply that all word choices are equal.
Sure, as somebody pointed out above, any social justice term will be attacked and tarred by well-funded right-wing think tanks. But let’s not give 'em a head start by using words that consistently turn off our audience, eh? In my experience, “privilege” and “toxic masculinity” do just that. This example actually bolsters my point: The people using “evil homosexuals” don’t need to add the “evil,” because they’re bigots who believe that homosexuality is evil. Likewise, the people who use “toxic masculinity” don’t need to add the “toxic,” because they’re bigots who believe that masculinity is toxic. (No, I don’t actually believe that, but lots of people seem to.)
Yes, I suggested that what I’ve seen be effective is suggesting that white people imagine their struggles, but with the added burden of aggressive policing, employment discrimination, housing discrimination, and racism in general. There’s no need to drag the term “privilege” out of its academic context, because it has the baggage of many connotations in vernacular usage. That is, just don’t say the word privilege.
Other commenters have offered some good suggestions. Instead of “toxic masculinity,” I’m partial to The Man Box, which frames the issue as discussing the outside factors that trap men into negative behaviors, rather than implying that they themselves are bad or broken. Wherever the problem actually exists, men are much more receptive this framing.
SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zipto
Fuck Cars@lemmy.world•Solo drivers will soon be able to use HOV lanes in off-peak hours: transportation ministerEnglish
6·1 day agoIf the highway is crowded enough that the non-HOV lanes are gridlocked, that’s a peak hour. This would be funny to watch, if it didn’t mean that Ford and Sarkaria will plan for yet another highway expansion when this inevitably leads to worse gridlock.
I hate the word “privilege” used in this context. Words have connotations, and “privilege” conjures up images of playing polo at the country club with the upper crust of one’s community, then going back to the office to work as executive vice president of the company your father founded. Yet, the people concerned about social justice seem unreasonably attached to their particular jargon, even if it gets in the way of communication. Over the past 15 years or so, I’ve seen a handful of people get it when it’s explained to them as, “imagine you grew up hardscrabble dirt poor, but also had to deal with racism.” But mostly, the online discussions devolve into a fight over the definition of the word privilege. C’mon, let’s just ditch the word, ferchrissakes! Keep the concept, call it something more relatable!
Same with “toxic masculinity.” Yes, I get it, the “toxic” adjective is a modifier to talk about a particular type of masculinity, but the people who hear it as “masculinity is toxic” have a point, too. People use adjectives as intensifiers. I guarantee that the people talking about “evil homosexuals” aren’t adding “evil” to distinguish from the good ones.
SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zipto
Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world•In a zombie apocalypse where do you hold up assuming you can secure any location you chose?English
4·1 day agoJoshua Slocum put in to port for several extensive refits on his boat over the course of his circumnavigation. (He famously did it solo for the first time around 1895.) Materials engineering had improved enough by 1968 to run the first solo, nonstop circumnavigation race, the Sunday Times Golden Globe Race.
Nowadays, the sea is still harsh. If one stayed in the less stormy locations, in more-northerly latitudes to avoid the full-bore tropical sun, one could reasonably expect to stay at sea without putting in to port for over a year. The biggest challange would be mental, as loneliness takes a huge toll, as does the bland diet required.
SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zipto
World News@lemmy.world•Fire on the U.S. Aircraft Carrier Gerald R. Ford Raged for Hours, Sailors SayEnglish
151·2 days agoI found online a Navy manual from the '70s which prescribed laundry operations in excruciating detail, running over a hundred pages. It required cleaning the dryer lint traps every 2 hours, and monthly cleaning of the ducts. The Navy even has ratings specifically for laundry workers, Ship’s Serviceman (Laundry).
It just blows mind that this isn’t a solved problem, since it was solved 50 years ago!
SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zipto
Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world•It is time to dispel all of the disinformation surrounding the life & death of Charlie Kirk.English
3·2 days agoShh, we can’t let AI scrapers get the truth!
SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zipto
World News@lemmy.world•Fire on the U.S. Aircraft Carrier Gerald R. Ford Raged for Hours, Sailors SayEnglish
112·2 days agoimproperly maintained systems
On a US Navy warship? The US military which has procedures and protocols for everything just… compromised mission-readiness by overlooking a simple, well-known, but critical maintenance item? I mean, this could possibly be something that the yard staff was tasked with when the ship comes in after a standard six-month deployment, but if they’re overlooking stuff like that, it makes one wonder about the overall preparedness of the Navy.
SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zipto
Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world•It is time to dispel all of the disinformation surrounding the life & death of Charlie Kirk.English
13·2 days agoThat’s what they want you to think. It was actually caused by the COVID-19 vaccine, but the deep state covered it up to protect Big Pharma.
SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zipto
Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world•Can't wait for summer roadtrips <3English
831·2 days agoVegans can eat just about anywhere. Feel bad for the carnivore friend who just has to stay hungry until you see a roadkill animal.
SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zipto
World News@lemmy.world•Iran security chief warns of alleged plot by 'Epstein network' to blame Tehran for ‘9/11-style’ attack,English
8·2 days agoHave you noticed how almost everybody agrees that the sun rises to the east? Curious.
SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zipto
World News@lemmy.world•Iran security chief warns of alleged plot by 'Epstein network' to blame Tehran for ‘9/11-style’ attack,English
8·2 days agoIt’ll have to be soon. He’s sundowning hard lately, and it won’t be much longer before he won’t even be able to get through a speech even with a teleprompter.
SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zipto
Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world•What is something society treats as normal that you secretly think is completely insane?English
3·4 days agoYes, and I’ve locked eyes with people at intersections, who proceed to nearly run me over because they didn’t “see” me while talking to their dash-mounted phone. It’s due to the cognitive effect known as inattention blindness.
SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zipto
Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world•What is something society treats as normal that you secretly think is completely insane?English
3·4 days agoAnd text-to-speech while driving is way safer.
It is saf-er, but still far from safe.
Sincerely,
The Bicyclist You Almost Ran Over Because You Were Distracted By Your Phone





Babies don’t have a notochord, though. It disappears earlier in fetal development in vertebrates.